First Time
by rainbowspring
Summary: Takes place between Eternity Code and opal deception. Artemis Fowl has been mindwiped and his old life is gone. Yet things just as interesting seem to be happening and he is experiencing new feelings and experiences. My first Fanfic. Artmeis Fowl x my oc
1. Chapter 1 shades of gray Artemis

**Hi everyone this is the first piece of fan fiction I have ever wrote before! I am so excited! * starts hyperventilating, running around the room, freaking out etc.* Note, this takes place between The Eternity Code and The Opal Deception, during the period when Artemis has had his mind wiped. Also, the story's narration switches between Artemis and my OC, (who will be introduced shortly) so each chapter will have the narrator's name in the title. Now, on with the story! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. **

**First Time**

**Chapter 1: shades of gray ( Artemis) **

Looking back at my encounters with magic and The People, my life had been black and white. Magic seemed as though it had somehow brought it Technicolor ,but once I had been mind wiped, everything was just so dull, dreary, boring, and, though I would dare not admit it to anyone, lonely. That was before I started my third year at Saint Bartlbys ….

"Goodbye, Artemis," my mother sobbed as she and my father said goodbye to me before I left for school. " I can't believe we won't see you until Christmas. It feels like only yesterday you were born, already saying your first words…" at this Mother sobbed harder than ever. After Father calmed Mother down, 4 hours later, Butler drove me to St. Bart's. As we reached the school, a large banner was hung stating," Saint Bartlby's School for Young Gentleman welcomes Saint Magenta's Girls' Academy! " in bubble letters. I rolled my eyes at this tediousness. This year St. Bartlby was playing host to the St. Magenta Girls' Academy due to an incident that had resolved in the building being "unsuitable for students and staff to live in." I didn't care though, I had no time for girls. My classmates evidently thought quite differently. In my mind my classmates were simply moronic, immature, childish, imbeciles. After seeing how they behaved around girls though, I decided they were the biggest bunch of idiots I had ever met. After I unpacked my things in my room without incident, ( apart from Butler returning to school a couple of times to make sure I had everything, which of course I did.)I went to an area on the school grounds that students rarely ventured, being as the majority of the students spent time in the dorms and courtyard. I sat down on a bench and did some research on my laptop- I was looking up some facts about the stock market- when it occurred to me I was being watched. When I looked about I was surprised by what I saw. A girl with golden blonde hair glowing in the sunlight was staring at me with the most curious expression. Her entire body was still with what was clearly shock, or maybe fear. Her blue eyes had tears spilling from them with an unmistakable sadness, her face was red, as though angry, but the most noticeable thing about her was her smile. Her mouth had formed into a dazzling smile that gave off an aura of friendliness , as if she wanted to be with me. It took her a moment for her to realize I was looking at her, but when she realized this, her expression seemed to change at once. Her body had relaxed, all traces of tears were gone from her face, and she no longer looked angry. The only thing about her that was the same was her brilliant smile, which her entire face seemed to portray that aura of an extreme amount of joy.

" They really mind wiped you, didn't they?" she asked suddenly. I didn't answer, for once I was at a loss for words. What on Earth was she talking about?

" I'll take that as a 'yes they did.' Yep, definitely ." She said as though agreeing with herself on something.

" Well, it was nice seeing you." At this she turned around, started waking calmly, then broke into a run and made a sound that sounded like a sob before she left. It was then that I started seeing shades of gray.

**That's the end of chapter 1. Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2 Astoria Artemis

**Hi guys! Thanks to everyone who has added this to favorites, reviewed, or added this to story alerts! * Hands out cyber cake* I can't believe so many people have read this already!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 2 Astoria ( Artemis) 

I spent the rest of the day in my dorm, unpacking and doing research on my computer. When it was dinner time I went to the Great Hall . As soon as I stepped into the Great Hall I could tell that already my reputation had spread to the students from St. Magenta's. The girls seemed both attracted and repelled by me at the same time from what my classmates had told them, however it was evident that none of them would approach me. I preferred things like that anyway. At my school there seemed to be some sort of unspoken rule ever since my first year that sated that the other boys keep away from me and I them. I received my food and sat at the empty table I usually sat at. I heard voices saying my name but I ignored it. It wasn't until they were closer and I could hear what they were saying that I started paying attention.

"Oh, watch your step their Sugar," one of my classmates was saying. "That's Artemis Fowl. You don't want to sit with him. You can hang with me instead."

"Why are you talking to the sugar? It can't possibly understand a word you are saying."

I recognized the voice and turned around to see if my suspicions were correct. Sure enough I was right: it was the girl from earlier today that had left me confused.

"Anyway, that's nice of you to ask me to sit with you, but no thanks. Besides, what on earth is wrong with being with him?" The girl went on and walked away from my classmates, who were looking flabbergasted, and walked right up to me and asked" Is it okay if I sit here?"

It was a perfectly ordinary question and if she had asked anyone else in my position they would have immediately answered without hesitation. I, however was surprised. No one had ever _wanted _to sit with me before.

"All right." I sighed as she sat down, refusing to let my feelings show. "My name's Astoria Anderson." She said.

"Artemis fowl." I said curtly.

"What are your hobbies?" Astoria asked suddenly. It took me a moment to answer what should have been such a simple, straightforward question. What were my hobbies?

" I don't have any." I replied. I returned to eating my food, although in my mind it was muck . I couldn't believe my parents paid $10,000 each term for me to have something as common as _caviar and foods imported from all over the world_ for dinner. It took me a moment that Astoria looked absolutely horrified at what I just said.

"You don't have any hobbies," she echoed." But everyone has hobbies. They have to have _something_ to do in their free time." I was surprised by her reaction to what my response had been to her question. " I don't have any, it's as simple as that." Astoria chose not to press further on the topic and instead tasted her food. She then gasped loudly. " You're school has awesome food here Arty!"

It took me a minute to process what she had just said. She had called me _Arty _nobody except Mother and Juliet had ever called me that before. I was unsure of as whether I liked or hated being called Arty. However, there was no way any of my classmates could hear that.

"Miss Anderson." I began to say but Astoria interrupted me.

"Please, don't call me Miss Anderson." Astoria said." Call me Astoria or Tori. When you call me Miss Anderson it makes me feel like we have reached the dreaded path that is oldness."

I was almost thrown by this answer but I had a retort I was about to voice when Headmaster Guiney called for attention. He welcomed the students from St. Magenta's Girl's Academy and talked about the rules and customs at 's School for Young Gentlemen. When he finally finished his speech it was time for dessert. Astoria squealed with delight at the food and ate with enthusiasm. When she noticed I had not ate anything, she asked" What's wrong Arty? You haven't touched any of your dessert yet. Do you need to go to the nurse?"

"First of all don't call me Arty. Secondly, the reason I haven't ate anything is that I don't like sweets, and no I do not need to visit the nurse."

Astoria suddenly looked terrified. _What have I done now?_ I wondered to myself.

"You don't like-" she choked, unable to even complete that sentence. "Oh you poor thing." Astoria whispered. Her eyes filled with tears and she ran out of the room. I felt many eyes upon me suddenly. A crowd of students from both my school and St. Magenta's approached me.

" What did you do to make Astoria cry?" they demanded. " I just told her I didn't like sweets ." I said coolly." There's nothing wrong with that, is there." I left the room feeling that it had been a long day. "Hi, Arty!" Astoria chirped, perfectly cheerful as she had been a few minutes ago.

"Miss Anderson-"

"I told you not to call me that-"

"I won't call you that if you won't call me Arty."

"But what will I call you then?"

"you shall call me Master Fowl just like everyone else does." I told her, hoping we had resolved this trivial matter, although my hopes were not to be answered.

"Master!" Astoria repeated, as though scandalized." I refuse to call you "Master Fowl", if you insist that I do , I will take it as a sexist comment. When you say to call you_ Master_ it makes me sound like I'm your slave or something. Now, good night Artemis."

Before she could leave, however I exploded. This girl…. was driving me mad!

" What on earth is your problem? When you first saw me today, you spoke some nonsense about mind wiping , when you sat with me at dinner you kept interrogating me, and now you're accusing me of being a male chauvinist! You are so…" I trailed off. I had never met someone like her before.

"Weird?" Astoria suggested. " Was that what you were going to say? If so, that ship has sailed long ago, my friend." She laughed. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow Artemis."

**That's the end of chapter 2. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3 I want to know you Artemis

**Thanks so much to everyone who has favorite this, put it on story alerts, or reviewed so much!* Hands out cyber pudding* Chapter 4 will be told from Astoria's POV. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 3: I really want to know you (Artemis)

The next day was the first day of lessons. The St. Magenta girls would be sharing classes with the students at St. Bartlyby's , so class numbers had doubled in size. Even so, I knew that even with the increase in class numbers that all of my advanced placement classes would be smaller than an _average _amount of students. St. Bartlyby's had advanced placement classes that some of my classmates took, but when I arrived they made_ especially_ advanced placement classes. Due to teachers complaining about how they could never teach me anything, and even though I was only now a third year and 14 years old, my advanced placement classes for English, math, science, and social studies, were meant for_ seniors_ at Saint Bartlyby's . Therefore I actually did not expect_ anyone_ to be in those classes. When I went to my first period class, I found a surprise waiting for me. Astoria Anderson was evidently taking my Third Year Advanced Senior Social Studies class with me. "Hey, Arty." Astoria greeted me quite cheerfully, however did not seem surprised that we were both taking Third Year Advanced Senior Social Studies.

"Miss Anderson, do you not remember our conversation last night about how to address each other."I began, but Astoria was not listening. Instead she had purposely turned her head away from me and was staring out the window. I was unsure how to react to this. Whenever I spoke people listened to what I had to say.

"I beg your pardon." I said in order to get her attention. It worked. She turned her head around, and said," Yes?"

"Miss Anderson-" As soon as I said this she started ignoring me again.

"Oh I see what you are doing. You will ignore me every time say your name. Is that correct?" I concluded.

"Sorry," she apologized."I just don't want you to call me Miss Anderson."

"Then why must you insist on calling me Arty?" I replied.

" Well, what else can I call you then?" Astoria pondered, as though this were a very important matter that required much thought.

I sighed. "Miss And- Astoria, does this really matter?"

"Of course it matters!" Astoria exclaimed, as if this were very obvious." If I don't know how to even address you, how can I talk to you?"

"Why on earth do you think we would have to talk to each other?" I asked. Astoria seemed surprised by my response.

"Because I want us to get to know each other." Astoria replied sincerely. " I mean, if we don't speak to each other, how can we get to know each other?" I was thrown by this remark. Nobody my age had ever_ wanted_ to know me, nor I them. Before we could continue talking however the bell rang for class to start. We did not do much in class, the teacher merely went over what we would be doing this year and would let us ask questions. I didn't ask any questions, why bother being as I would not be learning anything new anyway. Astoria , who seemed genuinely interested, asked some questions, that left me under the impression she was no amateur on the subject. My next three classes were Third Year Advanced Senior Science, Third Year Advanced Senior Math, and Third Year Advanced Senior English. Astoria was in all three of them, and as before, seemed like no amateur in those subjects either. After that was lunch hour. As soon as I left the classroom Astoria followed after me. "Hey, Genius Boy!" Astoria called after me. I froze. "Hey Genius Boy, wait up!" she called again. "It's a nice day out. Do you want to eat lunch outside?" I decided to imitate what she did whenever I had called her Miss Anderson. I ignored her and walked right on pass her."Hey Genius Boy, it's not polite to ignore people, you know!"

"You were just ignoring me a few hours ago." I reminded her." Now would you please leave me alone." I walked away, received my lunch, and sat down by myself at my usual table. I felt satisfied at the thought that after our little conversation Astoria would probably stop pestering me. My satisfaction did not last long however, because Astoria sat down at my table soon after.

"Artemis we need to talk." She informed me very seriously. I noticed that she had not referred to me as "Genius Boy" or "Arty."

"It has come to my attention that you are very antisocial. Am I wrong?"

"My social affairs are none of your business ." I snapped. " Is this some sort of joke ?"

" Artemis, I really want to know you. That's all. I'm sorry for bothering you. " There was a look of hurt on her face that was causing a few stares in our direction. I thought she was going to leave in tears, but instead she spoke quite calmly and naturally. "Artemis I'd really like it if today afterschool you could come visit me so I could give you friend lessons. Please consider that if you refuse," She said, with a mischievous grin spreading across her face."You will be hounded by me every day of your life until you accept. Understand?"I nodded unsure of what else to do. Astoria wrote her dorm room down on a piece of paper and gave it to me." Well ,see you then."

**So, that's chapter three. Please review! I want to see if I can get just 4 more reviews by chapter 4.**


	4. Chapter 4 Friend Lessons Astoria

**We did it! First Time now has 10 reviews! This is like some sort of milestone for me,thanks so much!* hands out cyber ice cream* This chapter will be told from Astoria's POV btw.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 4 Friend Lessons (Astoria)

I walked away from Artemis, feeling confident he would see me afterschool. Artemis and I didn't have any other classes together after lunch, so I wouldn't see him until school was over, which would give me time to plan our lesson… the boy really did need more friends in my opinion. Especially since he had to say goodbye to his old ones due to the mind wipe….

Anyway as soon as school was over I ran to my dorm and found some "teaching implements" for the lesson. Then I got hungry and decided to get a snack from my kitchenette. About dorms at Saint Bart's, there are only two words I could use to describe them: Awe and Some! I had my own bedroom, my own bathroom, and my own _kitchenette_ . Complete with an oven, microwave, and refrigerator. And I didn't even have to share my room with anyone! In my bedroom there was a, wait for it…, television , computer, couch, desk, and minifridge!(Although that kind of defeated the whole point of having a refrigerator in the kitchen.)Anyhow, I decided to make myself an ice cream sundae, and decided to turn on my computer and set it up so that when Artemis knocked on my door , the sound of a doorbell would ring out from the computer. I had only moved in a couple of days ago and was wanting to give my place a more "Homey" sort of feeling. I heard a knock on the door and made my "doorbell" ring. I opened the door revealing , you guessed it, Artemis!

"Hey Artemis!" I greeted." Do you want to have a snack? I'm having sundaes but you said you don't like sweets, so you could have something else instead if you want. Unless you really do want ice cream, in which case I will give you an entire carton, being as it is probably necessary for your health. I mean if you don't eat something sweet sometimes, you can't possibly be human-"

"My dietary preferences are none of your concerns Astoria." Artemis interrupted coolly and sat down on the couch. There were a lot of things he said weren't my business come to think of it.

" All right then let's start the lesson. Good afternoon, class." Artemis responded to this by saying" If you expect me to chirp back "Good afternoon Miss Anderson," then you are sadly mistaken."

"So Artemis, our first activity should be to make name tags."

" I am not making a name tag."Artemis stated. " Fine." I cheerfully replied to this. I made one for myself and made another one. After awhile, Artemis, unable to resist the urge to, asked" Why are you making two name tags?"

" You know how you said a couple of minutes ago you would not make a name tag, well I'm making one for you."And with this being said I leaned over and attempted to put one onto his suit. Artemis stood up, causing me in my efforts to lean over to put the name tag on him made me to fall off the couch.

"Are you sure you really want to put a name tag on me ? Keep in mind that if you do, it may only result in injuries." Artemis said nonchalantly. Okay, he had got me there. But I was not going to give up that easily. I grabbed his pant leg and stuck the name tag to it.

"Aha!" I declared. "I won!" I then got up and started doing my own sort of victory dance. Artemis took off the name tag . "What on Earth could you have possibly won?" I stopped dancing at this. Time for the lesson to really begin. " Well then, Artemis," I said, getting back on the couch."For these friend lessons we will ask and answer questions about ourselves. What is your favorite color?"

"I do not have a favorite color." Artemis replied

"Do you like them all or just have trouble choosing one? I don't have a favorite color either, I like them all."

"No, I just don't bother wasting my time choosing "favorites" that have no real value."Artemis said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. _Does this guy have any favorites at all?_ I wondered to myself. _No, I'm sure he does_, I argued with myself. _And I won't rest until I find out_.

"Well, Artemis, I know you don't like sweets so what foods do you like?"I asked. In answer to this, Artemis then started naming off some fancy foods I had never even heard of before. _Well,_ _at least I got an answer,_ I thought. _Even if I don't understand what he just said ._"So Artemis, what's your favorite sport?" I was sure he must have one. Every boy I had ever met did. But to my surprise he answered, " I don't particularly care for sports."

"Me too!" I squealed." Me + sports= No way! We have something in common ! I knew we would! We have something in common! We have something in common! We have something in comm-"

"I've got a question." Artemis interrupted my celebration. " Why were you acting the way you did yesterday?"I stopped celebrating at this question. He couldn't know that I knew about The People. Not yet anyway. Thinking quickly I told him, "You really need to be more specific when you're talking to people Artemis. Otherwise they can't understand a word you're saying."

"Do not play dumb with me ." Artemis replied coldly." You know what I am talking about. Now, stop evading the question and give me an answer."

"Is that an order?" _Artemis you can't know I'm sorry. It's for your own good._"I am not your slave young man. Now good day sir! Oh, and please come back here again tomorrow. We are going to go on a field trip."

**And that's chapter 4. I'm not sure whose POV it will be told from for chapter 5. And now, pretty please review.**


	5. Chapter 5 Mom and Dad Anderson Astoria

**Hi guys as you may have noticed all of the chapters in first time officially now have titles. Thanks again to everyone who has favorite, put this on alerts, or reviewed.*Hands out cyber thanksgiving feast* Also, I decided the POV for this chapter will be told from Astoria.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 5: Mom and Dad Anderson (Astoria) 

The next day after school Artemis and I met each other at the school gates. I handed him a blindfold and instructed him to put it on until we reached our destination. Artemis refused, pointing out that he could hurt himself with it on, and hinted that he might press charges. I decided it was best not to see if he was bluffing. Evidently, my pupil was being reluctant. _Note to self, find ways to make student behave._

"Where are we going? Are we leaving the school grounds?" Artemis asked.

"Who knows?" I replied cheerfully, although I did have a place in mind as to where we were going. Artemis scowled.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Okay, okay, we are going outside of school. Jeez, there's no need to get in my face about it. Gosh."At this Artemis opened his mouth , probably to tell me he had only spoke once and there was no need to be upset, then thought better of it. Wise choice. As we walked out I asked Artemis," Have you ever left school before Artemis?"Students were allowed to leave school grounds on weekdays after school as long as they were back in time for lights-out, and on weekends.

"No, I haven't." Artemis replied.

"Why not?"I was surprised. He had been at school for more than two years, surely he must have left at least once. I had noticed that Artemis, in those few days we had met each other, I could tell that Artemis seemed to dislike school. So, if anything, I would have expected Artemis to leave school quite often. Artemis didn't answer my question about why not.

"And now Artemis," I announced several minutes later. " We have reached our destination. And our destination is….. my parents house!" In front of us was a cozy cottage just a few minutes away from St. Bart's. I went up and rang the doorbell a repeated number of times, even after the door opened.

"You can stop ringing the doorbell, Astoria." My mom said grinning.

"Mommy! Daddy!" I squealed and hugged them. Several minutes later we remembered Artemis was there. For a moment I could have sworn I saw a look on his face that was hard to identify, but it seemed as though he had an aura of discomfort, longing, and loneliness.

"Oh, Mom, Dad, this is my new friend Artemis ! Artemis, this is Mom, and this is Dad."

Artemis held out his hand and shook hands with my parents. The next moment my dad had Artemis facing the wall and patting him down."Clear!" He shouted."You may come in." This time he was more hospitable."Sorry about that. It's what I do with all of Astoria's friends when I first meet them."

"I would like to tell you sir, that I have a seven foot body guard, who, had he been with us a moment ago, would certainly not have been pleased with this patting down session. You have been warned. Let this never happen again."

Dad just shrugged. Mom said," Whatever you say dear."

I was relieved and surprised that Artemis hadn't left yet. Maybe I could get him to stay an entire ten minutes. We came in and I gave Artemis a tour of the house and my parents offered to give Artemis a snack, which he refused. Then, much to my family's disappointment, Artemis decided to leave.

"Please Artemis…" I pleaded, wanting him to stay longer."Please please please ."

"No." Artemis said firmly.

"All right, Artemis. But I want you to know that since I'll be staying here for dinner, I won't be going with you. So if some sort of wild animal attacks you on the way back, just know that I won't be there to save you." My tactics to have Artemis stay didn't work though. Artemis said his goodbyes and left.

That night I left home and went back to school. I was about to unlock my door when I noticed it was unlocked. Weird, I had been sure I locked my door before I left. It was then that I noticed that the lock on the door had been picked. Someone had broke into my dorm room. They might still be there. I wasn't going to just barge into my room if someone dangerous and armed was there, they could easily hurt me. I went on the fire escape/balcony to peer into my window to see if someone was there. It was hard to tell through the darkness but I had a feeling someone was. I decided it was best to call the police, just in case, when I realized I didn't have a phone with me. My phone was right in front of me through the window, which was open. If I could just reach the phone I could go onto another floor- so whoever was in their couldn't hear me- and call the police. I reached in very slowly but it was a bit of a stretch. Suddenly my hand on the ledge slipped and I tumbled into the room. I landed in a position that wouldn't hurt me, but whoever had been in the room with me must have heard me. I thought fast, and swung my bag at the person in my room , attempting to knock them out. I screamed. Then the lights came on. The person in the room was Artemis lying on my bed as if it were the most natural thing in the world to sneak into my room without telling me.

"OH MY GOD, ARTEMIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

"Calm down Astoria. I only came to ask you some questions and was waiting for you." Artemis said coolly."My first question is are you adopted?"

I was so surprised by this I had forgot Artemis had broke into my dorm." Oh, yeah, I am. "I replied." My parents had found me on their doorstep on the day I was born and kept me ever since. Technically their my foster parents, but they might as well be my real ones. "

"Secondly, do you know who your real parents are?" Artemis asked.

"No, but I have my theories." I liked Artemis asking me questions. It was fun making him curious.

"What kinds of theories?" Artemis questioned.

"It's a secret." I put my finger to my lips and pretended to zip them. I really did have theories, but I wasn't ready to voice them yet. Then I thought of something."Hey Artemis, what made you ask?"

"It's a secret." Artemis gave me a vampire like smile and left. _Note to self, buy a better lock._

**Please review! Have an awesome thanksgiving!**


	6. Chapter 6 church Artemis

**I hope you all had a great thanksgiving! Thanks again to everyone who has favorited, put on alerts, or reviewed this story*hands out thanksgiving leftovers*! Also, before this chapter starts, which will be told from Artemis's POV btw, I just want to explain something first. What happens in the chapter really is typical of some Unitarian Universalist churches. (You'll see what I mean shortly.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter six: Church (Artemis)

Astoria and I continued friend lessons for the rest of the week. What would happen at each lesson would be that Astoria would ask me questions about myself that I would not know the answers to or would have never thought about. When she asked me those questions, for once in my life… I would not know what to say. At the end of Friday's lesson when I was about to leave, Astoria stopped me for a moment.

"Oh Artemis. Would you like to go on another field trip Sunday? Now, there will be some things we need to discuss first. One, no matter how close friends we may become Artemis, under no condition whatsoever can you break into my dorm. So, unlike last time, you will not leave in the middle of the trip and break into my dorm. _Understand._"

Astoria was never going to let that go. She had even bought a new lock for her door. I nodded.

"All right then. So, on Sunday, at 10:30 A.M. meet me by the school gates, okay. That's all."

Saturday passed at a surprisingly slow pace. I hadn't talked to Astoria all day. For some reason, it was strangely lonesome…

On Sunday morning I met Astoria by the school gates, and we went out. We went to her parent's house again, and I assumed she would be taking me there so I could stay longer this time. But we were not. Instead, we went in their car and drove away. Astoria then told me where we were going.

"We're going to a Unitarian Universalist church. I think you might find it interesting. We're not trying to convert you or anything; you're just coming as a visitor. We're doing our welcome back from the summer service so we'll be starting out in the service room and then going to the Sunday School classes. It'll be fun."

About 15 minutes later we arrived at the church. We went inside the service room, found seats, and sat down. People were talking to each other and laughing. Astoria went up and talked to some girls for several minutes and I saw them glancing in my direction: Astoria was clearly talking about me. When the service started Astoria sat back down with me and gradually conversation died down. After a welcoming back speech, the minister announced I was there. I was greeted by everyone with a warm "Welcome."

Then we were to sing a hymn. I did not sing though. Artemis Fowl_ never_ sang. Astoria Anderson certainly did, however. Astoria's voice, although singing with other people, was easily identifiable. It rang like wedding bells and carried a tune of sweetness and grace that would make any passerby stop and stare. After the hymn we were told to greet the people sitting near us. Some strangers sitting near me shook my hand, even though I had not met them. Next in the service it was time for "Candles of Joys and Concerns." Candles of Joys and Concerns , Astoria had explained to me, was a time when church members would talk about recent events in their lives and for each person who talked, a candle would be lit. People talked of the previous summer vacations and plans for this school year and next year's vacation. However the sharing's were not all joyous. Being as the title of this event was called Candles of Joys and _Concerns_, of course there would be some concerns. I had, however, not expected the concerns to be so… _personal. _I had expected the concerns to be what I would think of as mere worries such as failing a test or struggling with work. Instead, people talked about death of loved ones, serious injury, and crime. After this we sang another hymn.

"You better sing along this time Artemis." Astoria whispered to me. "You weren't singing last time."

"I do not sing Astoria." I told her coolly.

"Come on Artemis, it'll be fun. Just do it or I'll call attention to yourself." Astoria hissed back.

I had a feeling I would never hear the end of it if I didn't, so I sang.

After the hymn Astoria remarked, "You have such a nice voice Artemis."

Usually, Astoria told me later, we wouldn't go to the service; instead we would go straight to Sunday School. Today, being as it was the first day back after summer, everyone was in the service for the whole time today.

When the service ended we had snacks, although Astoria did most of the eating instead of me.

We went back to St. Bartlyby's with Astoria's parents. Astoria offered to let me eat lunch with them, but I declined and ate at St. Bart's instead. Astoria asked me something before I left.

"Do you want to come back next week, Artemis?"

"Possibly." I replied. I honestly didn't know.

**For my updating schedule I'm going to try updating a minimum of once a week.( There's no maximum btw) Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7 Happy birthday Astoria

**Yay! Today, 12/5/10, is First Time's one month anniversary! Or, as I like to call it, monthiversary! ! Thanks again to anyone who has favorite, put on alerts, or reviewed so much!*Hands out cyber monthaversary treats* And speaking of celebrations, something to celebrate will happen in the story… read on to find out!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 7: Happy Birthday( Astoria)

On Monday Artemis and I were having friend lessons. We hadn't made much progress, in terms of getting a straight answer out of Artemis, but in my mind it was a start. Today's questions were more general facts about Artemis, rather than his interests, so he answered more than usual.

"Artemis, when is your birthday?" I asked him.

"September 1." He replied.

"It's already passed!" I gasped."Oh come on! I wanted to throw you a party! Ask me when mine is." I demanded.

Artemis sighed."When is your birthday then."

"This Saturday!" I announced.

"What would you like for your birthday?"Artemis asked me. My jaw dropped. Artemis asked me without my telling him to!

"Oh my God!" I squealed. "You asked… without being…. This is great!" I was hyperventilating at this point.

"Would you like a sedative, _Miss Anderson_?" I stopped hyperventilating at this. _How dare he_ call _me that! _

"Now that you are remotely sane again," Artemis went on." Would you care to answer my question."

I paused for a moment before answering." Well… I guess I would like to somehow acquire a…. Baby." Artemis nearly fell out of his seat at this. _Yes! I had_ Finally_ surprised him so much he reacted!_

"Why do you want a baby?" Artemis recovered a moment later.

" Why would I not want one? Little kids are adorable! Could you please give me one. You can adopt one at some orphanage and give me one at my birthday party?"I gave him puppy dog eyes.

"Is there anything else you would want instead? Because there is no way I am adopting a baby for you." Artemis was clearly wary about giving me a baby for my birthday. Before I could answer, Artemis stood up an idea clearly working it's way around his huge complicated mind.

"Astoria, I will not be able to attend friend lessons every day this week. I will, howver, be able to attend your birthday party." And with that he was gone.

My birthday party was to take place at my house on Saturday and I would sleep there the night before and on my birthday. Saturday morning found Artemis at my door. My parents didn't pat him down this time, being as they only did that when someone they had never met before visited. Good old Mom and Dad, always trying to protect me in their own eccentric ways..

Anyway when Artemis arrived we had pizza for lunch. Well, actually, I had pizza. Artemis had ate before he got here. Next was karaoke time. I did all the singing, but I had a feeling Artemis was enjoying himself too. After that was cookie decorating time. Artemis didn't want any to make or eat due to his sweets phobia, as I liked to think of it. More for me! Arts and crafts came next. Artemis participated in that, and let me say that boy has some artistic talent!

"Oh wow, you are such a great artist, Arty!" I was allowed, as part of my present, to call him any nickname I wanted to all day. Then was time for the piñata ! Fortunately I was able to avoid breaking anybody or thing and the candy and vegetables came spilling out. Vegetables, being as I wanted Artemis to eat something at my party.

"Oh, Astoria." Artemis said after it was over. " Would you like your present now?" I pretended to think about it. "Yes!"

"All right then, I'll just go get it." I was amazed at what he gave me when he returned.

**Oooh, cliffhanger. What did Artemis buy Astoria? Find out next time. Also, Astoria would really like it if for her birthday you reviewed.**


	8. Chapter 8: Birthday presents  Astoria

**Thanks so much to everyone who has favorited , put on alerts, or reviewed this story so much! I love knowing that people are reading my story and enjoying it! Okay, so where we left off last time it was Astoria's birthday and Artemis left to go get her present.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 8: Birthday Presents (Astoria)

As Artemis left to go get my birthday present I wondered what he would give me. I knew his family was rich so I wondered if he spent a lot of money on my gift. Although the price of the gift wasn't important to me, I was just glad he had got me a gift. Artemis came back not holding a box covered in wrapping paper and strings, like most people do with presents, but came back with a brief case instead. _Ooooooohhhhh this must be really special_, I thought, and then : _I hope_ _there's something in the brief case and he's not just giving me the case._

"Is it fragile?" I asked him quickly. I was planning on feeling and shaking the case around to deduce what my present was, and if it was fragile I might accidently break it by doing that.

"It is not fragile." Artemis informed me. I jumped up and down excitedly and felt and shook the case. As I shook it I heard some scattering of what was possibly paper and the jingling of what was possibly coins. I was about to open the case when I thought of something.

"Is it booby trapped? Or is there a code I need to crack to open it?"

Artemis's response to my query was, "Why would I put any traps on your present or require you to break a code to open it."

"Well how am I supposed to know you didn't do something to it so no one else would open it? For all I know if I open it the wrong way or something lasers might be shooting at my head or the case could explode!" I defended myself. What I saw when I opened the case amazed me.

In it were piles of money and rare foreign looking coins. More money than I had ever seen in my life. There was also a letter .In very fancy handwriting it read:

Dear Astoria,

For your birthday I have given you money and a guest pass to Dr. Doolittle's Petatorium. There , until your 15th birthday next year , you will have guest access to the zoo and observe rare species.

Happy Birthday,

Artemis Fowl II

My mouth hung open. Dr. Doolittle's Petatorium was the most expensive zoo to visit in all of Ireland. I laughed happy laughs and ran around the house and yard whooping. When I got back I said in as calm and dignified manner as I could ,"Thank you for the gifts, Genius Boy."

Then I went into a giggling fit.

"What is the matter?" Artemis asked me.

"So," I giggled. "The zoo is named after-"

"Yes." Artemis sighed.

My parents gifts for me were the entire anime of Fruits Basket , season 1 of Glee, and some new seasons of The Simpsons. They made me cards and bought me some books. I watched a few episodes of The Simpsons with Artemis, who didn't find them very funny . We had cake and Artemis had to leave. I went to bed thinking that today was the best birthday I ever had.

**Okay, so right now I have 19 reviews waiting to have 20, so click on that button and go!... Please.**


	9. Chapter 9 Memories Artemis

**PLEASE! BEFORE YOU READ THE STORY, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, IMITATE WHAT ASTORIA DOES THIS CHAPTER! Than you for reading that. Also,thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, put on alerts, and favorited!*Hands out holiday goodies* Also, I really wish I could do a Christmas themed chapter now that it's so close to the holidays, but the story currently takes place in September….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 9: Memories (Artemis)

I returned to school and retired to bed remembering the events of the day. I could not sleep, however. I kept reminiscing about Astoria's smiling face and her laugh that sounded like waterfalls. I checked the clock. It was already past midnight.

_This is ridiculous,_ I mentally shook myself. I _should not be wasting my time thinking about some girl who I have only known for two weeks. With a mind like mine, one should not use it wastefully. I should be using my time wisely, not using it for such trivial matters as' friendship'._

_Yes, but is friendship really such a trivial matter?_

This was ridiculous. Now I was actually _arguing_ with myself. Artemis Fowl II most certainly did _not _argue with himself and he most certainly did not have a multiple personality disorder. Astoria was the one who had that, along with many other types of, disorders.

With this lingering thought I finally fell asleep.

It was midday when I woke up. This was slightly unusual being as I rarely slept until midday.

I went through my morning routine and , due to how late I had slept, had both breakfast and lunch for my meal. Afterwards, out of recent habit, I decided to go to Astoria's house.

_Astoria's probably back from church by now,_ I thought as I made my way to her house. Then_, If she is not all I can do is hope she doesn't react the way she did when I snuck in to her dorm room._

I rang the doorbell. Astoria's father answered it.

"Hey, Arty." He greeted." Astoria's out in the yard."

For whatever reason, contrary to when he patted me down when I first visited, Astoria's father had seemed to be less eccentric around me now. But only very slightly. I highly doubted Astoria or her parents could ever not be considered eccentric. However ,as I went inside, they seemed just as unusual as they had the day I first came.

"All right young man, listen up." Astoria's mother ordered." Astoria's father and I are going to the store for a little while, and during the time you two are here alone, we have some guidelines to go over with you." Astoria's mother brought out a contract many pages in length that I was to read and sign concerning the rules of the house. I silently wondered why they were scared of Astoria being alone with me at their home, while I had been alone with her several times at school, but decided it was best not to point this out.

I went to the back yard when a very strange sight awaited me. The Anderson's had a swing set in their back yard that Astoria was on at the moment. Or rather, only her feet were on the swing , which seemed to be going a lot higher than normal and was doing acrobatics on it like a trapeze artist. I stood open mouthed for a moment before regaining my composure. I was about to call out to her, when she did something next that left me, Artemis Fowl II , amazed.

Astoria closed her eyes, let go of the swing, and flew right off it.

Literally, _flew._ Instead of falling on the ground, like anyone else in Astoria's position would have, Astoria flew into the air and stayed there. Sparks seemed to illuminate from her and she soared high above the trees.

I waited for her to lower herself, and , unable to stand the suspense called out to her,

"Astoria."

Astoria, who had in the process of coming back to the ground was still a few feet up in the air, was still unaware of my presence up until this point. At this, Astoria's eyes flew open, and let out a scream before she fell to the ground. I rushed over to Astoria, determined to keep my cool, to see if she was injured. I had several degrees in medical care, so if Astoria was injured I would most likely be able to take care of her on my own. Being as Astoria hadn't been to high in the air when she fell, Astoria, although in pain seemed to be all right for the most part. None of her bones were broken, and she was still conscious. Her, wrist however, was bleeding slightly, and she had a few bumps and bruises.

"Heal." Astoria whispered and suddenly all traces of her fall instantly disappeared.

It was then that I remembered. I remembered The People and all of my adventures with them. I remembered it _all._

**Cliffhanger! To find out more next time, please review!**


	10. Chapter 10  The big reveal Astoria

**Before we start, I'd just like to say thanks again to everyone who has favorite, put on alerts, or reviewed this story*Gives out more holiday gifts*(Man, I fell like Santa Clause giving out all these gifts lol.) And now a brief recap from last time: Last chapter Artemis went to visit Astoria while her parents went out to run some errands. Artemis saw Astoria performing **

**Healed herself. When Artemis saw this it triggered a reaction in his brain, causing all of his memories to return. Now Astoria has got some explaining to do...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 10: An explanation of sorts (Astoria)

"Care to explain, Astoria." Artemis's voice demanded. I realized what had just happened. Okay, so we had a situation here. Artemis had seen me perform magic. This would need some explaining/evading of sorts. Okay then. Simply remain calm….

_Oh. My. God. WAIT A MOMENT, WHY AM I REMAING CALM? ARTEMIS SAW ME PERFORM MAGIC!OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOD!_

"Are you all right , Astoria?" Artemis asked me. Judging by the, for lack of a better word, surprised look on his face I had said my rant out loud. I started hyperventilating. I guess, even though he wasn't acting like it, I had really freaked Artemis out because next he assured me,

"Everything is all right Astoria. When you Healed yourself, you got rid of any injuries you could have acquired . You are physically well, but if you wish for more treatment, I have many degress in the fields of medical attention and physiciatry."

Artemis had seen me _heal _myself. Then a thought occurred to me. How had Artemis known I had healed myself. Of course, he had saw me do it, but how did he know the terminology? It was then that I realized what had happened. When Artemis saw me heal myself it had triggered his memories about the People. _OHMI-"_

My thoughts were interrupted by a pair of hands around my shoulders. I started to relax. Artemis evidently was giving me a therapeutic massage to calm me down. He sure was good at it…

"Now," Artemis said once my massage was finished." Would you care to explain what just happened." It was amazing how cold his voice could be while at the same time how gentle his hands could be. I sighed. I was going to have some explain to do. Then I thought of something. Maybe I could try the _Mesmer_ on him. Before I could administrate it, however, Artemis pulled out a shot." Astoria, if you get too excited again, I have a sedative I could administrate it for you. Also, do not even think of using the_ Mesmer _on me to prevent me from questioning you."

I decided it would be better to explain.

"Very well, Artemis, allow me to explain. For as long as I can remember, I have been able to do magic. I wasn't really aware of what it was, at first, but I soon noticed my parents couldn't do it. My parents explained to me that most people couldn't do it either. They also told me I was adopted so that maybe one or more of my birth parents could do it too. So every day after that I would practice when no one was around and I would discover more about myself and improve at it each day. I read books about magic and looked at websites about magic on the internet. Eventually I was able to discover and piece together information about the People. I, like you did, learned everything I could about them. However, despite how much I researched, I noticed that there were still many things that didn't make much sense. I knew that I had all the powers that the fairies possessed but I lacked some of the physical characteristics. For example, most fairies are only a couple of feet tall, while I am much taller than that. Also, my ears are normal, not pointy. It's not only physical features that make me differ from the fairies, but my abilities.

I can do many different kinds of magic that most fairies cannot do. This confused me for a while, before I was finally able to come to a conclusion. I never knew who my parents were, or even if they're alive, but I think that one of them was a fairy and the other was a human. Making me, as far as I know, the world's first human-fairy hybrid. Ever. What other explanation could there be? I know my species is human, but I have the powers and more of a fairy. It's really quite possible that when my birth parents had me I inherited the magic traits from one parent and my species from the other. When I was researching about my origins, Artemis, that's when I found out about you and the mind wipe. I was able to hack into their computer network to find out. But, Artemis, you can never tell the public about me, will you?"

I begged and gave him pleading eyes. Artemis was very quiet for a long time, taking in all I had just said.

"No." He said finally."I won't. Ever."

"Thank you Artemis." I whispered and gave him a hug.

**Happy holidays! Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11 Merry Christmas Artemis

**Thanks so much to has reviewed, alerted, or favorited this story so much!*Hands out an entire Christmas celebration* Also, for anyone who's confused about the whole Astoria thing, her species is human, but she still has the fairy powers and more. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 11: Merry Christmas (sort of) - (Artemis)

After discovering Astoria was the first known human- fairy hybrid and recovering my lost memories, one would think our friendship would have been dramatically affected, yet it was not. I still came to see her for friend lessons and my opinions about her remained the same. However, after recovering my memories, the only change that took place was an observation I had made.

During the period of time when my memories were erased but I had not met Astoria yet, I felt different. Like a puzzle with missing pieces, something didn't seem to fit in place. I seemed to be trapped in a sort of bubble, being able to observe the outside world, but not being able to join it. When I was with Astoria, those feelings went away somehow. When Astoria told me her secret, I was both extremely shocked and yet unsurprised at the same time. I felt like I knew something about her from the start, but for some reason I didn't think that was it. If I did know something about her that had nothing to do with what had happened, then what was it?

Nearly two weeks later Astoria told me not to go to her dorm for a couple of days because she was setting up a surprise.

"What sort of surprise do you have in mind?" I asked her. "The kind of surprise that will be pleasant or the kind that will likely result in injury?"

"I'm not telling." Astoria replied in a sing-song like voice.

"Well can you at least tell me what the occasion is that is causing you to set up this surprise."

Evidently I had said the wrong thing judging by Astoria's reaction.

"You- You forgot…" Astoria left the room in tears.

The next couple of days I would keep trying to find out about the surprise, but I had no success.

At least Astoria didn't cry when I asked. Instead she would pretend to tell me and then decide not to in a rather infuriating manner.

A few days later Astoria invited me back to her dorm room, but not straight after school, I would need to wait half an hour first. I went to her dorm and knocked on the door. What happened next almost made me faint.

I was submerged in the colors red, white, and blonde- Astoria had just embraced me in a giant bear hug. Astoria was wearing a sleeveless red and white mini dress with a matching Santa Clause hat. Astoria twirled around, showing me her unusual outfit.

"Well, what do you think?" She squealed. I took a moment to answer that, before saying,

"I think you look like a female Santa Clause."

"Well, duh, that's what I'm supposed to be." She replied. I hesitated before asking,

"Do I _want_ to know why you are dressed like that?"

"I'm dressed like this because it's our one month friendship anniversary, silly, or did you forget?"

In truth I had forgot, but I decided not to answer that.

"Well, no matter, come on in." Astoria opened the door and I nearly fainted again at what I saw.

Astoria had decorated her dorm room to look like a complete winter wonderland. She had turned on the computer, so that Christmas carols were blaring from the speakers. There was an artificial Christmas tree with a box next to it filled with ornaments. There were stockings by the fire place, or rather kitchen stove being as Astoria's room didn't have a fire place.

"I left your present in one of the stockings on the fire place." She informed me pointing to one of the stockings. I reached in and pulled out a homemade card. It read:

Dear, Artemis

Merry Christmas! Can you believe Christmas is only a couple of months away? Also, happy one month friendship anniversary!

Your friend

Astoria

I was surprised she had kept track of how long she had known me. There was a strange feeling I felt when I realized that I had not gave anything to her in return. I then had an idea.

"Astoria, for our anniversary, I am going to give you a gift that is not an object. I shall let you call me any name you like for the rest of the day. I will also celebrate with you if that is what you want."

Astoria paused for a moment, then" Whatever you say, Genius Boy."

I spent the remainder of the day listening to Christmas Carols and helped Astoria decorate the artificial tree. I had never done anything like this in my life. It was a…. strange feeling. Yet not in a bad sort of way. We stayed up late watching Christmas movies as well. I had never celebrated Christmas like this at home before. I then, out of what was possibly a sheer moment of madness, thought, a thought I had never thought before. _Maybe there are some gifts in the world that can make people happy without having to pay money. _

I stayed with Astoria until it was very late.

"Merry Christmas, Arty." She said before I left.

"Merry Christmas to you to Astoria."

**I know the story takes place during autumn, but since it's so close to Christmas, I wanted to do a Christmas episode. I hope you all have an awesome Christmas!**


	12. Chapter 12 Snow Astoria

**Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks so much to everyone who has put on alerts, favorites, or reviewed this story!*hands out a new year's celebration party* I am so glad I could update on 1/1/11! It would have been even cooler if I updated chapter 11 on 1/1/11 though.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 12: Snow (Astoria)

Several days after our one-month friendship anniversary , when I woke up in the morning I had an idea. I called Artemis.

"Hello." He answered.

"ARTEMIS COME OVER TO MY HOUSE QUICK." I hollered into the phone.

"Astoria if you do not lower your voice I will feel inclined to sue you for seriously damaging my hearing." Artemis reprimanded me. "Now, talk like a human being and calmly speak to me."

"I have a surprise for you; can you come over to my house? Thanks, bye." And, without waiting for him to even respond, I hung up.

Artemis came to my house soon after the phone call.

"You know," He remarked," You really should give people time to answer you on the phone."

"Cheerfully considered." I noted. "Anyway Artemis, you know that pass you gave me for my birthday, well today you and I are going to visit Dr. Doolittle's Petatorium."

"I do not approve of you making decisions for me." Artemis informed me." However, the zoo has some interesting specimens, so I will accompany you."

I was surprised. "Oh, Arty," I gasped and gave him a hug."For once you agreed with me! Yay! Artemis Fowl II has actually agreed-"

Artemis interrupted my speech. "Astoria, I will only go with you under the condition that you do not hug me or announce to the whole world we agreed on something."

"Okay." I agreed.

_That's the second time we agreed,_ I thought to myself and silently celebrated_. Things are all going smooth._

An hour later things were not going so smooth. But then again, with Artemis Fowl, one should never plan on things going expected. Or, rather, when with I, Astoria Anderson, one should not plan on things going expected. Well, that was one trait we both had in common. At least no one could ever say they were bored with us. Although Artemis and I, due partially to the fact we both had more advanced IQs , we could often predict how things would happen, especially in Artemis's case. However, this time we were both unable to predict what happened after we left.

Halfway on the trip to the zoo, we found out that it was closed today. When we went back to my house, I could not believe what I saw.

When we reached my house…. It was snowing!

"OH MY GOD, IT'S SNOWING, ARTEMIS!" I declared happily. " IT'S SNOWING IN _OCTOBER_!LET'S GO PLAY IN IT!"

"Play in the snow." Artemis repeated, as if he had never heard of such a thing. "Why on Earth would we want to do that, I would only ruin my suit."

"Don't tell me you've never played in the snow before. You have played in snow before at least once in the fourteen years you've lived on this planet, haven't you?" I honestly was worried. _What kind of childhood could the boy have had if he had never even played in the snow…?_ I wondered.

"I have never done any such thing before in my life."

I almost fainted. How could he say that so naturally? I then realized what I had to do.

"Well you will now!"

And with that being said, I picked up some snow in my hand and threw a snowball at him.

Artemis blinked for a moment, his usually fast brain trying to process what had just happened.

The next thing I knew, a piece of snow narrowly missed my head by inches.

"Very well than , Miss Anderson," A dangerous smile crossed Artemis's face." If you insist on challenging me, I will not go without a fight."

Artemis and I engaged in a snowball fight, but Artemis soon regretted joining me. Artemis was very good at many things, but snowball fights were not one of them. I, however, had the upper hand due to my experience. I tried to go easy on him being as it was his first time, though.

When Artemis stated that the whole game was ridiculous we decided to stop and agree that neither of us had won. I still won though.

After that we made snow men, snow animals, and snow fairies. Then we made sow angels. Well, I made snow angels. Artemis did not join me, being as he did not want to ruin his precious suit. After a couple of hours we went inside for some hot chocolate with whipped cream.

Although Artemis did not say it, I could tell from the look on his face that he enjoyed himself.

When Artemis opened the front door to go back to school, we made a discovery. We were snowed in! Artemis would have to spend the night. We had a guest room for Artemis to sleep in. Artemis was against the idea of staying at first, but even he had to admit there was no way of going back to school. Artemis ate dinner with us, and although I could tell he didn't particularly like it, he still ate a good amount without complaining. We played fun games after dinner, and then went to bed.

**Again, happy New Year everyone. Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13 Halloween Artemis

**I just realized something! Two days ago it was ****First Time****'s two month anniversary! I wanted to update on that day, but I couldn't. Maybe I can update for the third month anniversary….**

**Come to think of it, I'm surprised I didn't celebrate its weekaversary-one week anniversary- LOL. Anyway, thanks so much to those who have alerted, reviewed, or favorited! So within the past 2 months and 2 days, I've got 13 chapters up counting this one and more to come!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 13: Halloween part 1 (Artemis)

The next morning I woke up and departed from Astoria's house. She and her parents both insisted I stay for breakfast first though, which was homemade pancakes. As I went up to the school gates I noticed something. At Astoria's house there was snow on the ground from yesterday, but at the school there was no sign of there ever having been any at all. I wandered around the school grounds; I still did not find the slightest trace of snow. Absolutely none at all.

"Excuse me," I asked a student passing by me." Did it snow here at all yesterday?"

"Um, no, it didn't. It's only October you know. It's too early for snow yet." He replied, looking at me strangely and ran away to find some of his friends.

It then occurred to me how I must look, searching for snow in the middle of autumn, and mentally shook myself._ Look at what's happened to you, Artemis Fowl. You are searching for snow. You have much more important priorities, such as searching for gold, for example, not snow._

However, I could not resist a challenge and went back to Astoria's house. I went to her front lawn, without her knowledge, and took a sample of the snow with me back to my dorm.

In my dormitory, unbeknownst to my teachers and classmates, I had built myself a laboratory. I went to work using a microscope, beaker, and computer to identify the substance. My suspicions were correct: the sample I had collected was not real snow, but_ artificial_ snow.

Now that that question was answered, the more important question remained: Why would there be artificial snow at Astoria's house, and have it be so bad I would have to stay the night?

I had one theory: That someone would want to keep me away from school.

If my theory was proved to be correct, there were still more questions. One question was this: Why would they want to keep me away from school in the first place? A second question was: How would they know about my friendship with Astoria? Or, could this all just be some sort of joke? Could Astoria or someone else have simply been pulling some sort of prank on me?

In answer to my first question, the person behind all this may have wanted to keep me away from school to do something in my absence. A thought occurred to me. I looked around my dorm for a many minutes before I stopped. Fortunately my fears were wrong: No one had took advantage of my absence by trying to break into my dorm and steal something. However, I still was not any closer to answering that question yet.

In answer to my second question, it was quite possible someone was watching me without my knowing. That could turn out to be a very bad thing indeed. I could be in grave danger.

It was also possible that this was merely a harmless joke. I could think of literally hundreds of people I had humiliated in the past and perhaps this was their way at getting revenge on me. On the possibility of the prankster being Astoria, I doubted it. I remembered seeing the pleasantly surprised look on her face. Regardless of how mischievous and good an actress she may have been, I could tell from the look on her face that she had not known this would happen, therefore not making her the culprit.

A thought came into my head. Maybe no one was pranking me. Maybe nobody was watching me. Maybe I was in no danger at all. Maybe the person who was being pranked was Astoria. Or maybe _she_ was the one who was being watched. And maybe _she _was the one who was in grave danger.

I was unsure what to do. I considered telling her my theory that she was being spied on, but there were two problems with that: 1. I did not necessarily know that was true and if it was not I would only be making Astoria worry for nothing. 2. If I told her, whoever was spying on her could be watching as I told her. If she were able to know without whoever was spying on her knowing, she would have the upper hand. However, if she knew and whoever was spying on her was aware that she knew she was being watched, it could put her at a disadvantage.

It would be safer, for the moment, if I did not tell her my theory unless I actually knew for sure.

I also considered just telling her that the snow was fake, and hoping she could reach the same theories without the watcher realizing, but I also decided against this. Astoria may get suspicious of why I wanted to find out, which could result in my telling her the truth while the watcher was watching. More than that though, I kept remembering how happy and excited she was when she thought it was snowing, and I did not want to take those feelings away from her.

For now, I would not tell her anything, but I would make sure she was safe.

A few weeks passed since then and I had still not discovered anything new. Meanwhile, Halloween was coming up, which Astoria was very excited about.

"What are you dressing up as for Halloween, Artemis?" She would ask.

"I'm not dressing up." I would always reply. Astoria would always be horrified at this. When I asked her what she was dressing up as she refused to tell me. Astoria also refused to tell me what plans she had for Halloween, only to expect her by my dorm on Halloween evening. Astoria even decorated her dorm and home for Halloween. One day I stopped by her room for lessons and when I rang the doorbell I heard gruesome noises that certainly gave me start. The entire dorm looked as if it was a haunted house. Finally Halloween arrived.

Astoria stopped by my dorm as she had claimed she would, however when I opened the door I found a surprise waiting for me. Astoria stood their wearing a fake set of antlers and rabbit ears. She was also wearing a tail and a set of feathered "Angel "wings and was wearing face paint. Her clothing consisted of tie-dyed robes. Ribbons made of flowers were in her hair along with what looked like a halo. She wore bottle cap bracelets and a Christmas ornament necklace. Then, entirely straight-facedly she raised out a bag in front of me and said," Trick or Treat."

I was, in a word, shocked. Once I had found my voice again, I asked "Astoria, what on earth are you dressed up as?"

"I'm dressed up as a ! " Astoria declared proudly.

"Do I really want to know what that is?" I asked, still in shock.

"It's my own creation! Now give me some candy!... Please." She added.

"Astoria, you know full I don't have any candy." I had recovered from my shock now.

"Well, you can at least compliment me on my costume!" She demanded. I thought before I spoke. "You're costume…. Is very… creative." That much was certainly true.

"So anyway, Artemis, since you don't have any candy to give me, to make it up to me, you're going to take me trick-or-treating to all the dorms!" Astoria decided.

"Astoria, what have I told you about deciding for others without consulting them first." I was not going trick-or –treating, I had never even gone trick-or-treating before in my life. When I told Astoria this, she merely grabbed me by the arm and replied, "Well you will now!"

Astoria went trick-or-treating to everyone's dorm. I reluctantly went with her, however stayed at least 12 feet away from her at all times. Most people gave candy to Astoria, despite being extremely surprised. Afterwards, she went back to her dorm and I to mine. I had been there for about an hour, when suddenly, someone was knocking on my door frantically. I opened it and in came Astoria, who panted,"Artemis, you've got to hide me! The police are after me!"

**Originally, this was going to be two chapters, but I decided to make it just one. Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14 Halloween part 2 Astoria

**Oh, you want to know something cool this year, the other day it was 1/11/11, so when you write the date it's entirely made up of ones!... Well….. I thought it was cool anyway. Wish I had time to update then. Thanks so much to everyone who has alerted, favorited, and reviewed so much! *hands out cyber cookies* So here's a brief recap from last time. When Artemis left Astoria's house he found out that the snow there was ARTIFICIAL snow. He went over several theories with himself , one of which was that either he or Astoria was in danger. He decided not to tell Astoria about the fake snow until he was sure he knew why everything had happened lately. A few weeks later it's Halloween and Astoria dresses up as a made up creature and takes Artemis trick or treating to all the dorms. After they say good night, Astoria later comes back to Artemis's dorm in a panic, saying that the police are after her! What trouble has she got herself into now….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 14: Halloween part 2(Astoria)

Artemis let me into his room and locked the door behind him. I was hyperventilating by myself in a corner.

"Now, Astoria," Artemis's cold yet calming voice had a soothing yet hysterical effect on me at the same time. "What is wrong?"

"WHAT'S WRONG? OH, NOTHING'S YOU NOT HEAR ME BEFORE, I SAID THE POLICE ARE AFTER ME? YEAH, EVERYTHINGS ABSOLUTELY FINE!" I was in a sort of hysterical sarcasm fit at this point.

"Astoria."Judging by the tone of Artemis's voice, somehow my hysterical panic considerably eased his, if he even had any. "Speak calmly and slowly. If you speak too loud the police may find you. Now, pleases explain how this all happened."

Here was the soothing effect. "Okay, before I begin, can I go into flashback mode?" I asked Artemis hopefully.

"Will it make you act like a normal human being?" Artemis clearly did not know what flashback mode was, evidently.

"Artemis, I may act like a human being, but have I ever acted normal around you. You should restate that question!" Artemis had known me for _weeks_ now, and he asked that question. This was by far more upsetting than the prospect of being captured by the police.

Artemis sighed."Very well, go on then."

"Flashback time!" I sang.

_1 hour ago..._

_After I said my goodbyes with Artemis, I went back to my room. I stayed there a while before realizing a piece of my costume had fallen off in the hall. I went outside to get it. I found it just outside the main office. When I picked it up I overheard voices in the office asking if they knew what dorm Astoria Anderson lived in. I peeked in and realized the police had asked for me! I didn't know what to do so I went to Artemis's room and here we are now..._

"…End flashback." I finished. A look of comprehension dawned on Artemis's face.

"Astoria, do you know _why _the police are after you?" Artemis asked a little too casually, as if he were merely asking a simple question about the weather.

"No," I answered. "And I'm not too eager to find out either, which is why you need to hide me here tonight. When they find out I'm not in my dorm, they're sure to go around asking people if they've seen me recently and where. Obviously, everyone will know, being as I went trick-or-treating to all the dorms. Not only that but due to my costume, which is sure to be mentioned to the police, I will be easy to spot."

Artemis looked deep in thought for a moment."Astoria, have you done anything recently that would cause the police to have suspicions about you?"

"No!" I replied indignantly."At least, I don't think so…

"Or perhaps the police are here to help you. That is their job, after all…..."Artemis would soon regret what he had just said.

"Yeah, but they're only here to help me if something bad has happened! What if Mom or Dad got in an accident or are dead? Who would take care of me _then_? " I was on the verge of tears just at the thought of it.

"Astoria." Artemis soothed." You are getting hysterical again. I promise you that once this is all over, which it _will_ be, you may scream and cry as much as you want. But for now, you need to _calm down_."

So I calmed down. I needed to use my head, not let my emotions get the better of me. I had an idea."Okay, Artemis, here's what we'll do; I am going to need to disguise myself. If the police come here I am going to pretend to be your cousin or a different friend of yours that is staying here. What do you think?"

"Couldn't you stay at a friend of yours from St. Magenta's instead? I don't believe I have anything here for you to use to disguise yourself."

"I_ guess _I could," I supposed." But I don't think whoever I'd stay with would keep quiet if the police came. As much as I like my other friends, I have to admit that they are nowhere near as _clever_ as _you _are Artemis." I tried using flattery on him. He signaled for me to go on.

"Anyway, I already have the disguise part covered." I went on. Artemis raised an eyebrow: which in the world of Artemis Fowl is a very large sign of surprise.

"For my disguise, I am going to be dressing up as your _male _cousin, or your _male _friend. All I would need to do would be to borrow one of your suits-"

"Absolutely not."Artemis bellowed.

"Well what other choice do we have?" I opened the door just a crack to peer into the hallway to see if anyone was coming. I saw a glimpse of a man in a uniform.

"We don't have any other choice!" I whispered. "Go outside and talk to the police while I get changed in here." And with that being said I pushed Artemis out into the hallway and locked the door behind me.

I changed out of my costume and into one of Artemis's suits. I piled my hair into a bun and threw a hat over it. I heard Artemis talking outside to the police, pretending that he had never even heard of me before in his life. He was a pretty good actor. Eventually though the police wanted to inspect his room. I stepped out just in time.

"Good evening, officers." I greeted cheerily, trying out my boy voice.

"Who is this, young man?" The officers asked Artemis.

"My friend, Nigel Smith. He was staying at my dorm for a Halloween celebration."

The officers then inspected Artemis's dorm and left.

"I think that went quite well." I said after they left. " I was able to dress up like you, which is what I wanted to do in the first place-"

"You were going to dress up like me." Artemis interrupted.

"Originally, but I didn't know where you get your suits, so I couldn't. I also was going to dress up wearing a box that said To: Men, From: God. I didn't do that though along with…" I rambled on about several other things I was going to dress up as before Artemis stopped me."Astoria, where are you going to sleep tonight?"

"At my parents' house." I decided and left.

**So, that's Halloween. Please review!**


	15. Chapter 15 Guilt Artemis

**Thanks so much to everyone who has alerted, reviewed, or favorited so much!*Hands out cyber…. Food of some sort (I'm trying to come up with different things for each chap., but I'm running out of ideas)* Also, before you read this chapter, here's a quick review. In Chapter 8, Artemis gives Astoria money and a pass to the zoo. Just keep that in mind. Anyway, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 15: Guilt (Artemis)

The next morning was a weekend, so I decided to go to Astoria's house to check on her. I was very cautious as I walked and took more time than usual for what would only to take a matter of minutes to Astoria's house. The reason I was being so careful was that I didn't want anyone to see where I was going. With the police after her, I suspected that rumors had spread like wild fire overnight. A student who knew about our friendship may tell the police and would be suspicious about where I was going.

When I reached her house, I hesitated a moment before I knocked. I had formulated my own suspicions about why the police were after her, and was not too keen on telling her. However, it would probably be safer to inform her in advance, so, after hours of sleep lost through thinking, I decided I must tell her. I saw Astoria's bright eyes peering through the mail slot. She quickly opened the door and thrust me in.

"Thank God it's you Artemis; I thought for sure it would be the police. What did you come to see me for?" She looked truly eager to see me. I wondered if she would still feel the same way when I told her the truth. The reason I thought why the police were after her. "Astoria, are your parents home?"

"Yeah, they're in the kitchen just now. Do you want to grab a bite to eat? I told them that the police are after me and they're going to keep me hidden until everything works out." She added. This was going to be hard to say."Astoria, sit down for a moment. I have something to say." Astoria sat down and looked up at me expectantly.

"I think I know why the police are after you. Remember the money I gave you for your birthday. Have you tried to buy anything with it or brought the coins with you to a bank recently?"

Astoria nodded." Yeah, I was looking at the old coins last weekend and there was one I didn't recognize, so I went to the bank to see what it was worth."

"When you showed it to the people at the bank, how did they react." I said it rather as a statement than a question, being as I could already predict their reactions.

"Well, at first they looked sort of shocked and fascinated. They told me it wasn't very valuable but I'm sure they were lying." Astoria reflected.

"Indeed they were. All of those coins are extremely valuable. Could you show me the coin you brought with you to the bank?"I asked Astoria. Astoria ran upstairs and brought down the briefcase containing the money I had given her for her birthday. She opened it up and a felt the familiar feeling of excitement I got whenever I saw money. She took out a coin and showed it to me.

"I know exactly why the bankers reacted this way. This coin is _exceedingly_ valuable, not just in worth but also due to where it comes from. This coin is not available anywhere except from a special museum in London. The people at the bank would never have expected this to fall into a 14 year old girl's hands. I stole all of the money I gave you for your birthday from the government and various organizations all over the world. The people at the bank could easily have become suspicious and told the police to come after you."

Astoria looked stunned for a moment, and then said calmly."So, the reason I am in hiding is because of you, Artemis." Her voice had developed a dangerously sweet edge to it. "Oh, don't worry Artemis; I won't blame you at all. I'll just go along with whatever you want me to and take the fall for you. I'm not mad."

I stared at her, suddenly feeling something I had rarely ever felt before: Guilt. "Astoria, I'm sor-"

"DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE I'M NOT MAD? I'M AS MAD AS AN EXPERT KNOT TYER WOULD BE IF SOMEONE STOLE THEIR SHOES! DID YOU HONESTLY THINK I WOULD NOT GO TO JAIL FOR CARRYING FAKE COINS AROUND WITH ME? IT'S YOUR FAULT I'M IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW! TELL ME ONE THING, WHY DID YOU DO THIS BUB?" Before I could respond, due to all the racket Astoria was making, her parents chose that moment to come in the room.

All at once I thought things I had never thought before:_ I am in so much trouble. Also, did she just call me BUB? And what does that analogy of an expert knot tyer having someone steal their shoes have to do with anything? The thoughts this girl dreams up…._

When Astoria told her parents what happened, they were, if possible, even more furious than she was. They fortunately didn't assault me, but they did use some rather coarse language one should not say in the presence of young children. I ended up leaving their house, and for once in my life I was completely unsure of what would happen next.

When I returned to my dorm, I stayed there the rest of the day and night. I did not even leave for mealtimes. I was pondering what would happen next. I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I had done worse things than this before, many much worse things, yet I had never felt guilty than. Why did I feel so bad now? One thing was certain though: I would make this up to Astoria Anderson. No matter what.

**I really appreciate reviews! I want to see if I can have the review box say 40 reviews by the next chapter! Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16 Apologize Astoria

**Thanks so much to everyone who has alerted, reviewed, or favorited*hands out cyber cookies in ice cream* Also, remember how I said that I'd try to update a minimum of once a week? Well, I've noticed that the past couple of updates have taken a little longer than usual; I just have been really busy lately. But I think after this, my schedule should turn back to normal. Anyway, here's a brief recap from last time: Astoria finds out that the money Artemis gave her was stolen and that's why the police are after her! How will Artemis make things up with Astoria? Will Astoria forgive him? Will I ever stop rambling and get on with the story?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 16: Apologize (Astoria)

I wasn't sure whether or not I should go to school on Monday. The police might be there and even if they weren't the teachers might confront me about why they were after me. However, it wasn't really these possibilities that had me worried. (If the teachers confronted me, I could just feign ignorance.) What had me worried was Artemis Fowl.

After our fight that weekend I didn't feel like seeing him. How would I react when we would inevitably see each other at school? It would just be too awkward, and I knew I couldn't stay angry forever. Because even though I was mad_ at_ Artemis, I was also mad _for_ him. He was easily my best friend at school and I enjoyed spending time with him. Last weekend was what, in my mind, was our first real fight. Sure, we had argued many times before over the silliest little things, but I had never stayed mad at him for too long and I actually _enjoyed_ fighting with him then. It was our way of getting to know each other.

In the end though, I decided to go to school on Monday. If I didn't go, the school would just get suspicious. My first class was one of the classes only Artemis and I had together because no one in our school had the same grades we did to get into our classes. And Artemis _still_ managed to outsmart the teachers. Ordinarily, the thought of just us two in class would have made me eager to go, although in this case it just made things seem worse. Not only that, but I had three other classes with him that were only the two of us. At least I had other classes that he wasn't in. As I made my way into our first class, Third Year Advanced Senior Science, I remembered something even worse: We were currently doing a lab in class and Artemis and I were lab partners. Not only would we have to sit together with only the teacher in the room, we would be required to work together; conversation would be inevitable.

Artemis was already in the classroom when I arrived. The teacher was running late and not there yet. Man, today was not my lucky day. I had homeroom in this class too so I would be stuck with Artemis for 10 minutes before class would start. I decided to break the cold, awkward silence.

"Awfully hot in here isn't it." I commented to Artemis. Artemis stared at me strangely.

"It's November." He pointed out. "The heat has not even turned on yet. Therefore it is quite cold." From his tone of voice it was impossible to tell whether or not he was mad at me. I hoped he wasn't and prayed for that school bell to ring to break this awful silence.

I had this thing about cold atmospheres and awkward silences. They really got to me. Like, _really_ got to me. You know how when you're in an elevator and nobody are talking to each other and how it can be kind of awkward. Well, for an ordinary person that situation probably would range from being completely fine to only slightly uncomfortable. For me it was different. I would handle it by announcing very loudly, "It's wonderful to be in an elevator with so much conversation going on!" And people would stare at me funny. Anyone who knew me that was in the elevator at the time would give me _Are you crazy?_ looks and pretend they didn't know me. Although anyone who knows me by now should realize the answer to that question.

Anyway, therefore it is perfectly understandable why I felt the need to jump up on my desk, and shout, "Say something!" to Artemis just as someone from the principal's office entered the room. They gave me the same strange look that people give me in elevators then told me that I needed to go to the principal's office. I regained my dignity (?) and followed them down to the office, my heart thudding. If the principal asked me a question about the police I knew I could just pretend I didn't know the police had even been here. The problem would be what I would do if the police themselves were here and questioned me. How would I react? Would I tell them what Artemis told me so I wouldn't get arrested? But if I told them that, Artemis would get arrested. But didn't he deserve to get arrested? For most anyone else I would have said yes. But with Artemis I wasn't so sure. He had done way worse things than this to other people before and hadn't got in trouble than, so why should he get in trouble now? Although the question didn't entirely have to do with Artemis's moral character. Was it really worth risking myself to getting arrested just to save someone that I wasn't even sure what kind of relationship we were in?

When I reached the principal's office my fears were confirmed. The principal was sitting at his desk with two burly police officers standing behind him.

"You may sit, Miss Anderson."Principal Guiney instructed. I sat, though I considered making a run for it.

"Miss Anderson, do you have any idea why these secret agents from the government are here?" I forced myself to look him in the eye.

"No sir." Then I realized what he had just said."Did you just say secret agents from the government, sir?" I added quickly. I wanted to be polite as possible to seem more innocent. Principal Guiney nodded."Yes, Miss Anderson, the government suspects that you have committed an international crime and therefore they sent not only the police, but also secret agents,-"here he pointed to who I had thought were police officers but evidently were not-"to come after you." I made myself look as surprised as I could, which wound up with me falling out of a chair. Principal Guiney helped me up and sat me back down. I couldn't tell if he believed I was innocent or not." These lovely gentlemen here seem to believe that you have stolen valuable money from historical buildings and museums, and from the government all over the world." I made myself look as surprised as ever, but without falling out of my chair this time. I didn't want to overdo it.

Principal Guiney went on," Are you aware that on Halloween night these very secret agents here came to the school to look for you. They claimed you were not here. In fact, nobody as far as we know of has claimed to have seen you since until today. However, there were some reports from students we spoke to saying that you went trick or treating to all of the dorms the same night. Now, where were you Halloween night?"

I thought a moment before I answered truthfully," I did go trick or treating to all the dorms, Principal Guiney. After that I left school and went home to visit my parents." This way I was telling the truth, albeit leaving a couple of important details out, while still not getting either Artemis or I in trouble. Principal Guiney seemed to believe me. He didn't have a reason not to.

"Where were you the rest of the weekend, then?"Again I had an answer ready that was still the truth, even if I was leaving out a few things."I stayed at my parent's house the entire weekend Principal Guiney, sir." What he said next threw me off guard, although I knew it would come up.

"The police received a call from the local bank stating that you brought in a piece of money for identification. Were you aware at the time that this was stolen money? How did you obtain it?"

I could be truthful in saying I was not aware at the time it was stolen money. It was the how I obtained it that I was stuck on. I knew perfectly well how I got it, but there would be consequences depending on how I answered." I was not aware that was stolen money, Principal Guiney sir." I didn't say anything after that.

"How did you obtain it, then?" Principal Guiney asked again when I had not spoken for a while.

Before I could answer the door suddenly opened. Artemis walked in.

"Good morning, Principal Guiney."Artemis greeted as if it were the most natural thing in the world to walk into the principal's office while a student was being interrogated unannounced.

"Artemis Fowl, what is the meaning of this?" Principal Guiney looked surprised. I was wondering the same thing. Surely he wasn't going to take the fall for me, was he? Artemis Fowl would never admit to a crime in the risk of being arrested. Besides, why would he want to bail me out after I yelled at him like that? I suddenly felt guilty even though I did nothing wrong.

"I am here to prove to you Astoria Anderson is innocent." He said what I least was expecting to hear. He went on, "I overheard you talking to these police officers about this case. I knew Astoria did not steal any money because just the other day she was telling me she had found a strange looking coin on the sidewalk she would take to the bank for identification. You may search her dorm room and her house if you like, but you will not find any money there. I guarantee it." Principal Guiney and the secret agents seemed to consider this for a moment.

"Very well, young master Fowl, we shall check."

I was terrified. I had the money in my house. Surely they would find it. But when they went to search nothing was found. Afterwards, Principal Guiney said, "My apologies Miss Anderson."

"It's all right sir." I was relieved. But one problem remained. When they were gone, Artemis and I spoke at the exact same time."I'm sorry." We said. The words sounded strange coming out of Artemis's mouth. I doubted he had apologized much before in his life. Then I thought of something."Artemis, what happened to the money?" Artemis gave a knowing smile, then said

"I kept it in my dorm. I agreed with your parents we should hide the money. Here it is." He gave me back the brief case. It seemed heavier than before. It had caused more trouble than it was worth."No thanks." I gave it back to him. He didn't seem bothered. In fact, he seemed pleased I gave it back to him for some reason. "More for me than." He gave me his vampire smile."I didn't give all the money to you. I kept more than half of it for myself beforehand and have kept it ever since." Artemis Fowl was a clever sneak. He was manipulative and distrust worthy. He was a thief, a criminal mastermind. But I did not care about any of those things. He was my best friend. Those lapses when we were angry at each other were terrible. Artemis may be a lot of things, but he's a good and interesting friend. Now that we had renewed our friendship, despite how my morning went, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

**Wow, this is my longest chapter yet! Also, about what I said in my A/N, reviews encourage me to update faster!(*wink*)**


	17. Chapter 17 A trip to the zoo Artemis

**Wow, can you believe that First Time has been up here for 3 months now? I'm really very thankful to everyone who has reviewed, alerted, or favorited me or the story.*Hands out 3 month anniversary celebration.* Speaking of said story, here's a brief recap from last time: Astoria went back to school and was called in by the principal and police/secret agents that were after her. Astoria was unsure of whether she should tell them that Artemis stole the money, or take the fall for him. Fortunately, she didn't need to make the decision because Artemis came in to bail her out without getting himself in trouble at the same time. Now that they are friends again life should go back to normal, right?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 17: A trip to the zoo (Artemis)

After Astoria and I regained our friendship, life went back to normal. Or as normal as it could be for us anyway. A couple of weeks after our fight, I received a phone call from Astoria asking me to go to her house. When I got there she told me she had a plan for us today.

"Astoria, you must learn not to make plans without asking people first. Otherwise they will refuse to participate in you scatterbrained plans." I told her upon hearing this. Astoria ignored my –rather clever- advice." Artemis, do you remember how last month we were going to visit the zoo with the pass you gave me but we could not because of the snow?" I had still not told Astoria about the artificial snow. Before answering I briefly considered informing her about this information, then decided against it. Not yet anyway. In answer to her question, I settled on a nod.

"Well, today, we are going to-wait for it- … the zoo!" Astoria looked genuinely excited about this."And you are invited to come with me!" I decided to accept her invitation. After all, the zoo did certainly have some fascinating exhibits.

Astoria's parents were coming with us. The entire car ride was spent with Astoria talking about animals, information about the zoo, and what she wanted to do and see when we arrived. I joined in the conversation. Our discussion was actually quite interesting to me. I had several degrees in science, and despite, at least not to my knowledge, Astoria not having one, Astoria seemed to have enough knowledge to give off the impression that she did. This evidently was why she was in my advanced science class.

"Whoo! Let's go see some elephants! I mean, what are we going to see if we can't see elephants, right? They're so big, and awesome, and…. oh, they're just plain adorable! Ooh, you know what else we have to see? We should see…" Astoria was still rambling on even after we arrived at the zoo. We were getting a couple of stares in our direction due to her. Or the staring could also have to do with my attire. For some unfathomable reason, people seemed to think it was strange that I always wore suits. Not Astoria though, I noticed. She would sometimes poke fun at me about it, but she never stared at me for it or appeared frightened. At one point when we were waiting in line a man, upon seeing Astoria's enthusiasm, commented to his child, "Why can't you be more like her, so excited about the zoo?"Clearly he did not know Astoria if he wanted his child to be like her.

It was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky. Despite this however, it was still cold and therefore most of the exhibits were not only held outside, but inside as well. Astoria, however, evidently did not mind the cold, and ran around the zoo, visiting all the outdoor exhibits. But when she took her coat off, her parents decided she was acting a little too crazy and was taken inside to view the other exhibits. Overall, our trip to the zoo was quite enjoyable. Then Astoria got lost.

It happened shortly after we stopped at the snack bar for a snack. We were about to leave the snack bar. I turned around to speak to Astoria, and instantly noticed she was gone. When I informed her parents about this, it sent them into hysterics. She had been there just a moment before, and then she was gone. Her mother checked the bathrooms, while her father and I looked all over the snack bar. There was no sign of her. While her parents were panicking, I left to go to the main office to find her.

A woman at the desk saw me come in and asked" How can I help you sweetie?" I felt a vein pulse my forehead, I hated it when people called me sweetie, but I resisted the urge to treat her with disdain. I had to find Astoria."Excuse me, mademoiselle, but I am here to ask if you may put in a lost child call ." The woman was very taken aback by this. Then she regained her composure before saying, "Oh, are your parents looking for you, little boy?"

"No. _I_ am the one looking for the child." The woman fell out of her chair at this. She spluttered,

"How old are you?"

"I am physically fourteen years of age, madam." What on earth was wrong with this woman?

"You are saying you already have a child when you are only 14?" She looked absolutely horrified now. Before I could reply that of course I didn't have a child to that fool, she ran away shrieking words like _never in all my life… how dare he….. Too much stress in this job_ and other words of the like. Soon afterwards the manager in charge of her came into the room.

"Young man," He did not look very happy. "I would appreciate it if you were not to frighten my secretary-"

"And I would appreciate it if you were to put in a lost child call as I asked. I am Artemis Fowl; perhaps the name means something to you." The man's eyes widened at this. Fowls had power everywhere." Of course master Fowl, sir. Please pardon my rudeness. Who would you like to address this call to?" That was more like it.

"To Astoria Anderson." I ordered. He went off to make the call.

"Attention, everyone. We are missing a lost child by the name of Astoria Anderson. She is to report to the main office. Her guardian, young Artemis Fowl II is extremely worried. Thank you."

I nearly strangled him." I never told you to say I was her guardian!"I shouted at the now frightened manager. "I also never instructed you to say I was extremely worried! What kind of imbecile are you-"I would have went on longer before we were interrupted by a call from the intercom. Whoever was speaking on it sounded quite nervous indeed. "Sir, some of the animals from the company visiting us today have escaped!" I listened carefully. I then recalled something. Another zoo had been housing their animals at this one temporarily, being as they claimed they could not house them at their old home. I suddenly realized where Astoria was as soon as I looked out the window.

Outside the window was a curious sight indeed. Astoria was riding a rhinoceros hollering," Be free my friends! You do not deserve to be abused and tested on!" I soon realized what must have happened. Astoria must have broken the animals out of their cages. The question was why. I ran outside and Astoria stopped. "Astoria Anderson, would you care to explain what you are doing?"

"Artemis, when we were at the snack bar, I overheard two people from the zoo that is visiting here talking. I overheard the term animal testing. They were about to leave, so I followed them when you weren't looking. I made myself Shield so no one could see me. I spied on them and found out the real reason they were here. They never were her because their zoo was too crowded; they were here so they could hide the animals they were planning on abusing without getting in trouble! I went over to the exhibits the animals that are/were going to be abused lived, and using my Gift of Tongues, convinced them to get out of here." Astoria explained.

Later on Astoria was telling the same story to the manager of Dr. Doolittle's Petatorium what the other zoo was doing to their animals. With the exception of her fairy powers, of course.I suspected the only reason we were not in any trouble was because I threatened to sue if he didn't kick the people from the other zoo out. Afterwards we went home.

**So I'm back on** **schedule for updating! Please review! **


	18. Chapter 18 Randomosity Astoria

**Valentine's Day is in a couple of days! To everyone who has favorited, reviewed, or alerted, you get a Valentine's Day celebration!*hands out valentines*Also, the randomosity t-shirt reference is the same t shirt from TAC that Artemis's mother gives him for his birthday.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or the shirts in this chapter.**

Chapter 18: Randomosity (Astoria) 

It was an ordinary Monday morning, about a week after our trip to the zoo. The sky was a dull gray. I was bored, if you didn't guess that by now. I mean, come ON, I was just talking about the WEATHER, of all things! And wasn't even saying something along the lines of," It was a beautiful autumn day, with colorful leaves coating the ground." or something like that. And if I'm describing something _ordinary_, I should at least use poetic license to make it _extraordinary_ , like," Blue was kidnapped from the sky and replaced with a dreary gray." or something like t_hat._ Okay, so poetic license aside, you can understand that I was bored. BORED, with a capital b to a capital d. You get my point. I was telling Artemis all of this at lunch, and had an idea.

"Artemis, I have an idea!"I blurted out. He gave me a nod indicating for me to go on. " To ease our boredom-"("Actually, only your boredom." Artemis muttered)" I am now officially declaring this week to be Randomosity Week!" I waited a moment then asked," What do you think?"

"I think you are out of your mind, but you know that already." Artemis replied. "What exactly do you have in mind for this "Randomosity Week"?"

"It's going to be kind of like Spirit Week. Every day is going to have a special theme celebrating randomosity." I declared proudly.

"And we would like to celebrate randomosity why, I may ask. Randomosity, as you call it, is inappropriate." Artemis sighed.

I was flabbergasted by his response."Why would we_ not_ want to celebrate randomsity Artemis? You say it is "inappropriate" but that doesn't make sense. If you think randomosity is inappropriate, then you must think I am inappropriate because I am random. Are you saying that it is wrong for me to exist? Well, if you think that, then you must also think it is inappropriate for you to be alive. Because life is random, so you saying randomosity is inappropriate means you think it is inappropriate for anyone to be alive. What makes you think you should decide who lives or who dies? You are either suicidal or an egotist! If you believe in your anti randomsity rant, this could be a sign foreshadowing the future; today you are a thief, tomorrow you could be a murderer all because of your belief-"

Artemis put his head down and let out a little moan.

"Are you feeling okay, Artemis?" I asked, pausing a moment from educating him. He wasn't looking very well.

"Astoria, your philosophy just gave me a headache. None of what you said is even true. I was not ranting as you put it; you were the one who was ranting. I am not suicidal nor do I wish for others to die. I would continue to point out more false accusations, lies, and mistakes in your speech, but I must go to the infirmary. Now, if you'll excuse me."

Artemis got up to leave and I went with him to take him to the nurse. Artemis received some aspirin and I told him to me after school at my dorm.

When Artemis reached my dorm I showed him something I had found on the computer.

"So, Artemis, in celebration of randomosity week, I found some cool shirts on the internet we could wear."

"Show me." Artemis said. Clearly he wasn't going to wear anything without my showing him first.

"There's a picture on the shirt of this guy who for some reason has no neck and only three fingers on each hand. Behind him in graffiti style, or as I like to think of it, gangster style, is the word randomsity. It's so cute! What do you think? Isn't it awesome?"

A strange look crossed Artemis's face.

"Are you okay?" I asked for the second time that day.

He nodded." I am fine, I merely had a feeling that I will see that shirt again sometime in the future. However I absolutely refuse to wear that article of clothing." He had a note of finality in his voice.

"Well, I am." I decided. Artemis did not seem to be any more influenced by that idea. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

The next day I wore my shirt to school the entire day. In celebration of randomosity, I bombarded Artemis with riddles all day.

"How is a raven like a writing desk?" I asked.

"Poe wrote on both."

"What is brown and has a tail?"

"A penny."

And so on. I eventually decided to just ask random questions.

"Why do we park in the driveway, but drive on the parkway?" I challenged him.

"Because whoever invented the names was a complete moron." Artemis was able to answer the question that had puzzled man for centuries.

"Why do we have speed limits on freeways?"

"The same reason we park on driveways and drive on parkways. More importantly, why are you so interested in driving?"

I ignored his very good question." What is the meaning of life?"

Artemis paused before answering." What do you think it is?"

I smirked." You're just saying that because I stumped you! Now, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

"That depends on the size of the candy and the size of the licks. Why don't you go find that out for yourself?"

"You're not the boss of me! But I may just do that sometime… anyway, why do they-"

Artemis interrupted me before I could finish my question. "Astoria, the only reason you decided to have this randomosity week was because you were bored, correct. Are you still bored?"

"Nope." I chirped happily.

"Then there is no need for anymore randomosity."

And with that being said, randomosity week came to an end when it was still only Tuesday.

**Happy early Valentine's day to all and please review!**


	19. Chapter 19 The visit Artemis

**Wow….I cannot believe that since my last update there have been 12 new reviews! Thank you all SO much! And thanks to all who have favorited and alerted too!*hands out cyber left over Valentines***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or Fruits Basket in this chapter**

Chapter 19: The visit (Artemis)

Whenever I was at school, my mother had a habit of calling me frequently. Whenever she would do this, I would send a curt reply. This was before I met Astoria. I used to always be able to reply soon after I received messages from home, but now I started waiting longer to reply and sometimes not even replying at all. It was not that I did not want to speak to Mother; I was just simply much busier since I had met Astoria, therefore having less time to send messages home. At first Mother had called me less than she did last year, being as she too was busy, but in her case with observing my father's recovery.

One day in December, after I had not contacted Mother for several weeks, I received a video call from her informing me that if I did not reply to this she would actually come to the school to check on me. I decided it best to answer this call and we agreed to set up a specific time, so we could both speak together at once. However, instead of the usual questions Mother asked me this time, she asked something I did not expect.

"It's been weeks since you called, Arty." My mother sighed." I miss you, and your father is eager to see you too. We were thinking of having you come home now instead of waiting for Christmas."

"The winter holidays are only in a couple of week's time."I responded." Surely you and Father could wait until then. There would be no point in my coming home now. Besides, think of all the school work that would have to be made up due to my absence." I thought I had her there but….

"I'm sure that with that big brain of yours you would be able to make up any class work you missed. Also, why do you not want to miss school? I was never under the impression you particularly liked it. Does it have anything to do with their being an all girls' school currently visiting your school until they are allowed to go back to their old location?" Mother was suddenly very interested in my social affairs and gave me a knowing look." Have you made any friends, Arty? Have you made a _girlfriend_, Arty?"

I had to think before answering any of her numerous questions. Why _did_ I want to stay at school? "Mother, I do not have a girlfriend."I hated that word. Girlfriend. It sounded so juvenile and felt strange rolling off my tongue. I went on," Mother, let's compromise. I will come visit you and Father before the holidays. However, it will be on the weekend and I will return to school soon afterwards. Do I make myself clear?" Ordinarily I would have not been willing to compromise, but there was something about how Mother looked at me that made me want to give in to her. Mother smiled like a child on Christmas morning and eagerly signed out. Mother was a lot like Astoria in some ways.

"Can I come too?" Was Astoria's response when I informed her about my visit.

"Of course not." Was my immediate response to her query. I had not told Mother about Astoria yet. I was not sure how she would react.

"Why not?" Astoria demanded. I gave her my reasons as mentioned."Oh come on," She pleaded."I'll give you my left over remaining Halloween candy."

"Astoria, we have been over this."

"I'll give you all my money…"

"Absolutely not. Lord knows what you would do to me if your family went bankrupt from you giving me all your money. Besides, I don't think your family would have enough money to interest me anyway." Then Astoria did something much unexpected; she backed down.

"All right." She sighed." I suppose there's nothing I can do. Have a nice time seeing your family again, Arty." I was so surprised I didn't even object to her calling me "Arty." I should have got suspicious from there.

On Friday night I departed from school to Fowl manor. Instead of Butler picking me up from school, one of the chauffeurs my family occasionally hired picked me up. How odd. When I reached Fowl Manor, I rang the doorbell and waited. And waited. I knocked on the door and it opened. It was _unlocked._ Something was going on, I realized. The doors to Fowl Manor were _always_ locked due to the numerous amounts of enemies my family had. No exceptions. I slowly pushed opened the door and cautiously made my way inside. I heard voices from the living room. Then I saw something shocking and horrifying that made me stop in my tracks: Astoria and Butler were sitting on one of the sofas in the living room watching television.

Butler actually had tears in his eyes. Astoria was crying too."Poor Hatori and Kana!" She said to Butler, who nodded in agreement."CURSE YOU AKITO SOHMA!" Astoria hollered at the television. _This was NOT happening._ Then Juliet walked in the room. "Astoria!" She squealed excitedly.

"Juliet!" Astoria squealed back. Both girls ran across the room to hug each other as if they had known one another their entire lives before I came in the room and stopped them.

"Would any of you kindly explain to me what in the world is going on here?" I demanded.

"Hey, Artemis!" Astoria greeted me as if it were the most natural thing in the world for her to be at my mansion.

"I thought I told you not to come here." I said coldly to Astoria. She nodded as confirmation.

"Yep, you did. I didn't listen."

"Welcome back, Master Artemis." Butler greeted, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes.

"What were you two watching just now?" I asked, unable to resist my curiosity.

" Oh, it's really good , Artemis!" Astoria answered before Butler could. "It's this anime called Fruits Basket based on the manga. Both the anime and manga are very moving. It's about-"

"On second thought, I really don't care." I interrupted before Astoria would start talking for hours." Why are you and Juliet acting as if you two are best friends?"

"Because we are!" They both said this at the same time. Astoria signaled Juliet to be quiet for a moment and spoke next," We started hitting it off right away, even though we've only known each other for a few hours!" I was amazed.

"Are you friends with everyone?" I asked, thoroughly exasperated now, but trying hard to keep calm.

"Yes." Juliet, Butler, and Astoria answered in unison.

"How did all of this happen?" I wondered aloud.

"Well, Artemis in answer to your question I think I will have to go into flashback mode…" Astoria began.

_I packed my bags and came here as soon as school ended. I rang the doorbell and Butler answered it. As soon as I saw him, I realized he was your body guard. I yelled," You are AWESOME, dude!" which kind of freaked him out and he demanded to know who I was. I told him I was a friend of yours from school and gave my name. He didn't seem to believe me so I showed him a picture I took of us as proof I knew you. He checked it to make sure it wasn't fake and it passed the test. I guess he still didn't trust me though, so he patted me down and searched my bags to make sure I hadn't brought anything dangerous. I didn't. He called my parents and they said they had agreed for me to stay the weekend and worked out arrangements with your parents. So he called your folks and they confirmed this. He called the school to make sure I was a student there. He called just about everyone in the world to make sure I was who I claimed to be. Meanwhile Juliet and I got talking and became friends. Then I introduced Butler to the world of manga and anime .We just started watching and here you are now._

Here Astoria ended her flashback. "Oh, by the way Artemis, even though it's night time, in a couple of hours I'm meeting your parents."

It was going to be a _very_ long and interesting weekend.

**Please review! Also, I'm probably going to update sooner this week!**


	20. Chapter 20 Meet the Parents Astoria

**Told you I was going to update sooner this week! Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or alerted!*hands out cyber potato chips* Also, I am now a beta reader and am taking requests. If anyone's interested they can check out my beta profile and beta preferences for more details.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl**

Chapter 20: Meet the parents (Astoria)

It was now 7:00 P.M. and I was supposed to have dinner at a party with Artemis's parents at 9:00 P.M. As Artemis went upstairs to put his things away, Juliet pulled me over to the side for a moment. "Hey Ria,"- We had been coming up with nicknames for each other- "Did you bring any fancy dresses to wear for the party?" I shook my head. I had not known I would be having dinner with Artemis's parents until I arrived. Juliet grabbed my hand and we ran into her bedroom.

Her room was covered with posters of famous wrestlers, including her. She also had photographs of herself before she became a professional wrestler. Many of them were photographs showing her and her family. Others were pictures of her with childhood friends. I saw lots of pictures of Butler from when he was younger, which I can assure you were a very cool and creepy sensation. He wasn't bald back then, but he was still huge. (No offense, Butler.)

Juliet went to her closet and pulled out several cool dresses. "Being a Butler," Juliet explained to me wisely." I occasionally have to go to special events with the Fowls. When doing this, sometimes I have to dress up nice, so I have a lot of dresses. There are some in here that I got when I was your age that should fit you. You can borrow one for tonight if you want."

"Thanks Jules, you're the best!" I had started calling Juliet "Jules" recently.

Juliet said I could borrow her high heels but as soon as I tried them on we knew she made a serious mistake: I tried to walk out into the hallway and nearly fell down a flight of stairs straight from the top! I would have if it weren't for Juliet who, being a professional wrestler and very acrobatic, had done a sort of flip over the banister, caught me as I was falling, and threw me over her back into a safe position. Meanwhile Juliet was able to hold onto the banister so _she_ wouldn't fall. Artemis and Butler had evidently heard our, er, little "technical difficulty". Or, in other words, they heard my screaming. They saw us right at the moment Juliet had flipped over the banister to save me.

"You know," Artemis commented. "I have never tried on high heels before, but from what I have observed it seems quite dangerous." How right he was.

"Also, Astoria," This time Butler spoke," It might be a good idea if you managed to stay alive when you meet Artemis's parents. Just a thought."

"I sincerely hope I can, my friend." I said, gazing off into the distance mystically. Juliet stared at me." Are you feeling okay, Astoria?"

"Well, for someone who could have just died but didn't even have any injuries and is still recovering from shock….. Never better, actually." I then proceeded to remove the horrific shoes and hollered at them," Good bye, you dangers!" Before giving them back to Juliet.

"Have any of you ever heard a girl say goodbye to a pair of shoes? Well, you have now!" And with that we were off to meet Artemis's parents.

The Fowls, Butlers, and I sat down at a table in a fancy and expensive restaurant.

"Arty, dear!" Angeline Fowl exclaimed, embracing a reluctant Artemis. "It's so nice to see you again. You never told me you had made a friend. Speaking of which, how are you, Astoria?"

"Very well thank you, Mrs. Fowl." I said, trying to be formal for Artemis's sake.

"Oh, call me Angeline." She said.

"Cool." I replied. "You can call me Astoria, or Tori, or Ria. Call me whatever you like, just don't call me Miss Anderson and we shall get along just fine." Angeline and Artemis's dad seemed to find this amusing, if a bit odd. Artemis was giving me a warning look. _Well, it was a good_ _thing I just came out and said it! I swear, your dad was probably going to call me" Miss Anderson" and then I might snap! That wouldn't make a very good first impression._

"Hello, Mi- I mean,-" It's a good thing Artemis's dad didn't say what he was going to say earlier.-" Hello, Astoria. You can call me Tim."

Now that all the introductions were over, Artemis's parents questioned me about school, my interests, and my hobbies. I told them about some of my more "refined" interests and talked about every single accomplishment of mine. Including being able to hold my breath under water for 40 seconds. I also talked about more personal interests, such as manga and anime. I talked about just about anything and everything I liked. I did not, however, mention anything about my fairy powers. Everything was going pretty well until it was time for dancing.

"Why, look at that girl!" A woman sitting nearby remarked about me." Her dress is all right, but those are no shoes for dancing at a party like this!" I was wearing my sneakers because I was too paranoid to try on anymore of Juliet's shoes due to the incident earlier. Angeline overheard the snide comment and said nothing of it. Instead she asked," Artemis, wouldn't you like to have this dance with Astoria?"

Artemis wholeheartedly declined and stated firmly," Mother, you know as well as I do that I do not, under any circumstances dance." Angeline looked as if she were about to tell her son that it is very rude for a young gentleman to curtly turn down a young lady, but I spoke before she could. "It's all right, Angeline. This dance is ballroom dancing and I have no idea how to dance to ballroom dancing."

"Then this would be the perfect opportunity for Artemis to show you how. Wouldn't it, Artemis?" She was winking at Artemis as she said this.

"No, Mother." Artemis was still insistent about not doing this dance thing. Angeline motioned to speak to Artemis alone in a separate part of the room.

When they returned, Artemis said," Astoria, you and I are to dance." _Man, I have got to learn what Angeline does to get that boy to do what she wants._ I secretly wondered if she had blackmailed him or something. The song we were to dance to was a slow dance. "Hey, hands off Grabby! What kind of messed up dancing is this?" I told Artemis as we started to dance. Artemis sighed." Astoria, we're supposed to dance like this. And I would appreciate it if you would lower your voice a little. Next in the dance, you follow my movements-"

"Why?" I demanded.

"Because the gentleman always leads and the lady always follows." He replied.

"That is so sexist!" I exclaimed." Why should the man lead and the woman follow? Women don't need to mirror everything men do. We have minds of our own. And what if the man were to fall off a cliff? Should the woman do that too?"

Artemis chose his words carefully. "Astoria, for whatever reason in slow dancing, the lady just follows the gentleman. It is not at all meant to imply anything sexist. Now, just move as so…"

I was under the impression Artemis was not very good at physical movement, but he still somehow seemed dignified and graceful all the same. I couldn't help but giggle as we danced, much to Artemis's annoyance. I enjoyed myself, despite not being particularly good at it. Although I gradually improved as we went on. Eventually, I stopped Artemis and went over to the DJ to make some song requests to something that would not require ballroom dancing. After that, I danced how I normally would, much to everyone's horror. Artemis didn't dance with me but I thought I saw a smile flicker across his face. Not his vampire smile, but a real smile. I liked seeing him like that.

**Please review!**


	21. Chapter 21 Stars and cooking Artemis

**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited or alerted *Hands out cyber potato chips* Also, I got the idea for part of this chapter from CleverDucky's HP fanfic Falling Stars.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. **

Chapter 21: Stars and cooking disasters (Artemis)

On the car ride home Astoria was staring out the window with a both thoughtful and dream like expression on her face. When we went inside the manor, Astoria just stayed outside, staring at the night sky. "Astoria, we're going in now." I told her but she just kept looking up with the same expression she wore in the car. Beginning to wonder if she had a seizure, I asked her, "What are you doing?" She didn't answer for a moment, then said randomly,

"Shooting stars are brave, aren't they Artemis?"

I was thrown off by this sudden remark. I wondered if perhaps Astoria had had a little too much to drink at the party, but then remembered she had not consumed any alcohol. Besides, if there was one thing I had learned about Astoria in all my time spent with her was this: Astoria Anderson did not need any alcohol to act drunk.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" I asked, unable to help my curiosity.

"I mean, they leave all of the other stars behind, just to take a chance, no matter what the other stars behind. That's really brave of them don't you think? Still though, do you think they ever get lonely? Or regret the decision they made?"

For once, I had no answer to these questions. _Why is it only she can ask me questions like that?_ I wondered. _When she asks me questions like that, I have no idea what to say. So I make some sort of snarky comment to hide my ignorance. Or I just ignore the question being asked._

Tonight I just responded with telling her she need to get some rest and tat shooting stars didn't even have emotions, so there was no point in arguing. However, all she said next was," Doesn't everything?" I did not answer.

The next day was Saturday. I slept in late, due to the late night party. I dressed, showered, and came downstairs only to find the kitchen in chaos. There was cooking batter all over the walls, there was a faint smell of smoke in the air, and cooking utensils were scattered across the floor. The culprits behind this mess stood up from the floor and turned to face me, revealing themselves as Juliet Butler and Astoria Anderson. Both wore aprons over their pajamas covered with all sorts of substances, and looked as if they had just been through a war zone. Which considering the current state of the kitchen, they probably had.

"What has just happened to my manor?" I asked in my dangerously cool voice. The temperature of the room seemed to turn cold, despite the heat coming through the radiators.

Astoria was the first to speak. "For starters, this is only the kitchen, not the entire manor. Secondly, this was meant to be a surprise for you, so you have to get out now!" This did nothing to ease my temper. "So, your surprise for me was to destroy the kitchen?" I said even more dangerously cold this time. "I must say, if that is what the surprise you two had planned was and expected it to please me, you have both failed miserably."

"Artemis, this isn't the surprise we had planned for you." Astoria said looking hurt by my remarks. "_I_ just wanted to make you breakfast before you woke up. So, I got Juliet up to help me. We tried making breakfast but-"Here she pointed to the mess spread across the room.-"I'm sorry Artemis. I just wanted to surprise you by doing something nice for you…."

I suddenly regretted being harsh towards her and Juliet: They were both just trying to do something kind for me and I was rude to them about it. I was about to speak, but then Juliet spoke," What's that smell? I think something's burning…."

" THE PANCAKES!" Astoria yelled and ran over to turn off the stove. In her rush to turn off the stove, at the same time the pancakes, lit with flames, were thrown across the stove onto some expensive curtains nearby, causing them to be set on fire.

Astoria let out a bloodcurdling scream and she and Juliet searched frantically around the room for anything to put out the fire. As if Astoria's screams had somehow triggered an alarm, sprinklers from the ceiling instantly rained down heavily, in order to put out the fire. The water slowed the fire from spreading but still did not completely extinguish it. Juliet and Astoria both noticed a fire extinguisher in the corner of the room and ran to get it. Both girls grabbed on at exactly the same time and ran to put out the fire, but slipped on some water that was on the ground due to the sprinklers. They pulled the chord that put out the fire, fortunately having the desired effect. However, while they extinguished the flames, they also sent foam flying around the room. The foam landed in their hair and clothes, but they were not the only ones the foam landed on: I myself was covered from head to toe in foam.

Butler and my parents happened to choose this precise moment to walk into the room. Mother was in hysterics and Butler was instantly inspecting us for any injuries beneath the foam. Fortunately, there were no injuries that would require a trip to the hospital. I was going to go wash off the foam before Mother and Father stopped me. They then pulled out a camera and took pictures of Astoria, Juliet, and I in our foam like state before I realized what was happening. Catching the murderous glare I was giving them, Mother said "I'm sorry, Arty. But you just look like a snowman and we may never see you looking like this again!"

"Would you please give me a copy?" Astoria asked. 

**Please review!**


	22. Chapter 22 Food fight Astoria

**Before I start, I just want to say that no, I am not dead, I just had a dreaded disease known as writer's block. I'm SOOOO sorry it took me this long to update! I'll be able to update quicker for next chapter. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or alerted * Hands out fudge***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. **

Chapter 22: Food fight (Astoria) 

By the time everyone washed off, it was time for lunch. I had been going to clean the kitchen, but Butler had already done that for me. So instead we all went out to brunch at a fancy restaurant. When we got there and ordered our food, this baby stuck his tongue out at me. I playfully stuck mine out at him, to show there were no hard feelings. But he didn't stop there. He started throwing his food at me.

Now, I liked babies and younger kids a lot- they were cute! - But this guy was seriously starting to try my patience. Angeline asked me if I wanted her to go talk to the kid's mother, but I smiled and told her it was fine, staring at said baby as I did so. He still kept throwing his food at me though. At this point, Artemis's dad kindly asked the parents if they could possibly control their offspring. Well, that TOTALLY set the parents off. They did not see their child throwing food at me and when they looked at him he went into this adorable pose and went all goo –goo Gaga on them.

He went back to throwing food again, and this time we sent Butler over. Well, as soon as Butler reached the table both the baby and the parents went berserk with fear before he even started talking. I actually felt sorry for them.

"It's okay Butler, it's all good!" I called him back. You'd think that after that ordeal they'd lay off, right? Wrong. Eventually, we actually had to get the manager of the restaurant to come over to sort things out. Big mistake.

"How dare you accuse an innocent baby?" The mom shrieked. "How dare you try to throw us out? You all should be thrown out!"

"How dare _you_ suggest that _we_ should be thrown out?" Artemis responded coolly. "We are the Fowls in case you were not aware of that. I could easily have your family jobless if you keep this behavior up." Something about the way he said that made everyone in the entire restaurant go quiet. Nobody in the restaurant threatened each other or threw food at one another after that. They were just about to leave then and there, when the baby tried to throw his food at me but wound up throwing his food at his father instead. Making it look like Juliet, who was just finishing eating her meal, threw the food at him instead.

"Why, I never!" The man shouted. "Have you no sense of moral decency, young lady?"

"I didn't throw my food at you!" Juliet defended herself."Your child did."

The man then muttered something degrading and insulting after having a spluttering fit first. Butler cracked his knuckles threateningly and walked forward to him, but I put my hand out to stop him. "I've got this Butler." I said. Then I turned to the man.

"Oh you did _not_ just falsely accuse my friend of something she did not _do!_ Do not make me form my fingers in the z formation at you, cause I _will!_ "In a way this did and did not have the desired effect I was hoping for: I had been hoping to scare the man off, but he- like everyone else within our proximity- was just staring at me in confusion.

"Um, Astoria, I'm glad you're trying to help and all, but what the heck is the "Z formation"?"

"It's when you make your fingers in the shape of a z." I explained." Hasn't anyone besides me ever heard of that before?" Everyone shook their heads.

"I get what it is now," Juliet said." But I'm still confused about what it's supposed to mean. I mean, what does the "Z" stand for?"

"Uh…" I was unsure how to respond to that. "I never really thought about that before….. Hmmm…. Maybe it means something like "you're boring me to sleep" because z's are often associated with snoring…. I don't know!"

"Ahem," The man coughed loudly." Could you please get back to the matter at hand here!"

"Oh yeah, thanks mister!" I continued." Anyway, as I was saying: Oh no you _didn't_!" In my rant I accidentally tripped over the table leg, grabbed onto the tablecloth, and caused some leftover pudding to land all over the man's expensive looking suit. _Man, today is just _not_ my day._ I tried to apologize, but what the guy did next completely surprised me: He threw a half-eaten pie in my face. " Oh no you _didn't_!" I repeated. "Oh , it is _so_, on!" I then yelled a declaration of war," Food fight!"

Everything just went crazy after that. The enemy- a.k.a. the people sitting across from us- threw as much food as they could at us. Juliet, Butler, and even Artemis's parents joined in. Meanwhile, Artemis escaped to the men's room for shelter. ("I hate seeing good food go to waste." He had sighed.) It was a blast! Pretty soon, everyone in the restaurant was throwing food everywhere. We eventually had to leave though, when the food ran out.

Afterwards, I suddenly had an idea. Christmas was coming and we were driving past a mall, I decided to go buy Artemis a present. _But what to get him..._ I wondered. Then inspiration struck. I made sure Artemis didn't go with me to go see what I got him. I wanted it to be a surprise. I hoped he would like it.

When I had finished shopping- something I usually hated, but for once actually enjoyed because I wanted to give Artemis something that would make him happy- I kind of got lost. Something that evidently appeared to be a bad habit of mine. When I had met back with everyone, as we were walking towards the Fowl's Bentley, I left to go to the bathroom. In my defense, I specifically told them where I was going, but over the noise of the crowd they couldn't hear me. I looked all over the mall and parking lot for them. That was terrifying. I eventually found the manager of the mall and tried to convince him that I was lost, and _Yes, I spoke English ,. No, I was not doing this as a distraction while my accomplice was robbing the mall. And no, as far as I know the insane asylum was NOT missing one of their patients, NO I am not a gang leader…"_ and so on, until right when I finally convinced himI was not any of the above and more when the Fowls finally found me. At this point a couple of centuries had already gone by….. OKAY, so maybe it wasn't centuries, more like a couple of hours instead, but STILL!

Instead of going out to eat, we decided just to eat dinner at Fowl Manor instead. When I finished eating, Artemis called me over. Before I could say or do anything, he took my hand and was leading me upstairs. "Artemis, where are we going?" I asked him curiously.

"I have a surprise for you." He said mysteriously. We reached a door when Artemis suddenly ordered me to close my eyes when we entered. It turned out closing my eyes and walking was a bad idea. Before I even entered the room I tripped over something. Artemis wound up having to hold my hand so I wouldn't break anything until we were well inside.

"Open your eyes." Came Artemis's cool mysterious voice.

I did and what I saw was amazing. I was in a room with a view and a telescope, and when I looked out of both I could swear I was viewing all the stars in the galaxy. Looking into the telescope, I could see the planets too. "Oh, wow." I breathed. I thought back to the other night.

"You and I are shooting stars, Artemis." I said. Artemis raised his eyebrow, which for Artemis Fowl is code for,_ what? _"What I mean is, we don't care what other people think of us. We're not afraid to be ourselves, regardless of what other people may think. We do things other people think are crazy. You're a shooting star, Artemis." The words came out before I could stop them, but I didn't care. I couldn't see Artemis's reaction in the darkness.

When we were done stargazing, I left the room and was immediately snuck up on by Juliet.

"Hey , Ria, you want to have a sleepover? Some girl to girl time? You can stay in my room."

"Sure Jules!" I was thrilled. "I'll just go get changed into my pajamas."

When I was finished getting changed, Juliet beckoned me into her room with a very solem expression on her face.

"Ah, my young jeti," Juliet had a very wise look on her face." I sensed you would be coming. I feel you are ready to discuss with me a very meaningful topic… Boys."

"Oh _snap,_ tell me all the details!" I replied.

"Okay, seriously Tori, _enough_ with all the slang already!" Juliet threw a pillow at me then continued." I shall teach you everything I know, but first you must fetch us some snacks."

"Okay!" I said and went off to get some snacks…

**Next update WILL be sooner! Please review!**


	23. Chapter 23 Missing Artemis

**Told you I'd update sooner! Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, alerted, or favorited!* hands out cyber ice cream cake***

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. **

Chapter 23: Missing (Artemis)

"She's missing!" This was the cry I heard as a hysterical Juliet Butler burst into my room without even knocking as I was working. I absolutely loathed being disturbed while I was working, and ordinarily would have sent Juliet scurrying away for this, but for some reason I thought maybe I should listen to what she had to say. I usually thought of Juliet's troubles merely as inconveniences and would think she was overacting to them, but for some reason she seemed different than usual. Perhaps it might not be a complete waste of my time to listen to her just this once.

"Slow down, Juliet." I ordered sharply. "I can discern not a word if you continue to hyperventilate like that. Now what are you trying to say?" When Juliet temporarily got her breathing back under control she spoke." Astoria is gone!"

This was not what I was expecting to hear. "What do you mean she is gone, Juliet."

"Well, I sent her to go get us some snacks, and she was taking _forever._ I went to go see what was taking her so long, but I couldn't find her _anywhere._ I checked all the hallways in case she was lost or something, and just now I checked my room to make sure she hadn't come back when I was looking for her, and she wasn't there!"

I felt my blood turn cold. I sent my parents and Butler up to my study. None of them had seen Astoria anywhere either. "Butler." I barked. "Go search the grounds to see if she's there. The rest of you, search the manor. Now!" Everyone scurried away from me. The search part continued for half an hour and there was still no sign of Astoria. When Mother searched Astoria's bedroom she found something very unusual. "All of Astoria's things are missing, Artemis. She kept everything she owned in a suitcase but her suitcase is missing. Do you think this means she could have packed her bags and left without telling a soul goodbye, and snuck out when we weren't looking?"

I considered this possibility. Why would Astoria want to leave without telling anybody? Had I done something recently that had upset her? I thought about all of the times I had treated her coldly, but whether I liked it or not, she had never left my side. Astoria was an unusual and emotional girl who sometimes acted irrationally, but this did not seem the kind of thing she would do. And even if she did, I was sure she would leave a note to explain herself. Then another thought occurred to me.

What if she had not left on her own accord? What if she had been _forced_ to leave without telling us? Could she have been _kidnapped_? If so, then _why_ was she kidnapped? Perhaps someone had been aware of our friendship and wanted to hold her ransom for my family's fortune? Or maybe the reason she was kidnapped had something to do with her fairy powers? I thought back to earlier this year when we were snowed in by the artificial snow. Astoria was still unaware of how I suspected she might be in trouble. Could all of these events have been part of someone's plan without our realizing it? I mentally kicked myself. _I should have told her I was worried about her. I should have warned her to be careful. I should have…_

I stopped my train of thought. There was no time for regrets now. "Mother." I said. "I think we need to call Astoria's parents. Maybe they'll know where she is." I called her parents, however they evidently did not know where she was because they were still under the impression she was with me. This caused quite a lot of panic on the other end of the phone and, before I could stop them, decided to come over to the manor themselves to investigate. We also contacted the school but they had no idea where she was either. When Astoria's parents came over, they were even more emotional than they were over the phone. They were feeling scared, nervous, and anxious for their daughter, and were sad for her absence. However, amazingly enough: They were not angry at my family. They did not blame us for her disappearance.

We then phoned the police who came over right away to search for any clues. There were two and only two: Two pieces of paper wrote in a handwriting they could not decipher. I recognized the handwriting however; it was in Gnommish. So if Astoria was kidnapped her kidnapper must have known about the fairies. The police wanted to hold onto the notes as evidence, but I stole it away from them; the evidence would be of little help in finding Astoria if it was given to humans who hadn't a clue about the fairy world. Besides, they weren't looking at all of the details. They had overlooked the fact about where they had been found. One had been found in Juliet's bedroom. The other had been found in my study.

I took the notes with me into my study to decipher. The one I inspected first was the one found in the study. Clearly it had been meant for me to find. I read the note. It stated that if I ever wanted to see Astoria again I should come alone to where she was at. The problem though, was that I did not know where she was: The rest of the note was written in a language I had never seen before in my life. How curious. Whoever sent me the note had intended on my reading it, yet did not want me to read the second half. Moreover, they knew that I could read Gnommish. They also asked nothing of me, only to come alone. I inspected the second note, and found it was entirely written in the other language I had never seen before. I thought about the place it had been found; Juliet's room. Due to the mind wipe, neither Juliet nor Butler knew anything about the fairies, so they could not be involved. Perhaps whoever was behind all this was trying to throw me off the track by hiding it in Juliet's room. Also, why would Juliet do something like this to Astoria? They were such good friends. Anyone could tell by the fits of crying Juliet was experiencing. When Juliet was questioned about this by the police, it was evident that she had absolutely no idea what was wrote on the slip of paper and she had never seen it before in her life. Therefore, it was impossible for it to be Juliet.

There was something that was gnawing at my mind: the question of whether or not I should contact the Haven police. Astoria's fairy powers most likely were a key power to her disappearance. I did not want to admit it, but perhaps they could be of some assistance. The problem with this, however, was that none of the fairies knew I had got my memories back. They might only mind wipe me again and not even try to find Astoria. Or they might find her but abolish any memories I had of her or the People. I reviewed all the possibilities, pros, and cons in my mind. I then thought of Astoria and made a decision: Regardless of my methods or consequences of my actions, I would get Astoria back. And if anyone had harmed her in any way at all, they would _pay._ No matter what, I would find Astoria. No matter what the cost.

**Ooooohhh, cliffhanger. So, I was just thinking that in order to create some more suspense, I'd like to wait until I get more reviews than usual before my next update. I'm really curious to hear where you think she is and what happened to her. Please review!**


	24. Chapter 24 Stars and Opals Astoria

**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or alerted!* hands out cyber ice cream sundaes* Now you'll all find out what happened to Astoria!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. Or Harry Potter. Or Star Wars.**

Chapter 24: Stars and Opals (Astoria)

When I woke up the world was dark. _Where am I?_ I wondered. I reached out into the darkness, trying to grasp my surroundings. There was nothing but air. I felt myself, trying to see if my body could give me any indication of where I was or what had happened to me. When I tried to move my hands, I found they were tied down. I also noticed I was lying down on something, possibly a table, and that my feet were tied down as well. I then became aware that something was covering my eyes and came to the conclusion that I was blindfolded. That explained the darkness. I tried moving my mouth, but felt something sticky covering it, probably tape. Now that I had deduced that I was tied up, blindfolded, and had a gag over my mouth, there was the question of where I was and how I got here. Wherever here was.

I rattled my brains for any memories of what had happened to me but none were found. My most recent memories were of me being in the observatory with Artemis. Assuming that I had been captured, then whomever my captors were must have erased the most recent bits of my memories so I would not remember how they captured me. _Well, at least my last memory was with you, Artemis._ I thought. _At least it was a happy one. If I had to be taken away from you, at least I still have my precious memories of you. Ones that I would never sell to anyone no matter what the price._ Assuming that I had in fact been captured and this wasn't some sort of dream. Or nightmare.

I couldn't help but smile under my gag, despite the circumstances. I then heard footsteps. I lay very still, and did my best to hear any other sound within my proximity: I might be able to overhear someone saying something that could be of value.

"She's awake, Miss." Someone said. I froze. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? What if they didn't _want _me to wake up yet?

My fears were answered with," Ah yes, very good." That voice sounded familiar, but where had I heard it before? Next thing I knew I felt two pairs of hands removing my blindfold and gag; I turned out to be correct in my assumption that it was duct tape. Fortunately with the duct tape the person was very gentle so I did not feel searing pain nor have my lips ripped off. I opened my eyes and couldn't believe what I saw.

Opal Koboi was standing there before me. Now, when I had done my research about the fairy folk, I had of course heard about Opal Koboi. I had also learned about her involvement in the goblin rebellion. In a way she was like Artemis: They had both done less than good natured actions but you still couldn't help but admire their genius. I had seen photographs of her, but seeing Opal Koboi in the flesh was much different. This Opal was _real._ As in living and breathing. As in being able to see her actually doing her misdeeds, rather than just reading about them. This Opal was dangerous and should not be trusted.

"Where am I?" I asked her.

"That is of no concern to you." She replied in a dangerously sweet voice. I decided it was better, nay, just plain _safer,_ to accept that as an answer rather than arguing. I thought about everything I knew about Opal, and how her conceitedness, selfishness, and obsessions had both benefitted her but were also her downfalls. I had an idea.

"Well, I take it I am kidnapped, then?" I asked Opal, acting completely bored out of my mind.

"Yes, you are." Opal smiled evilly but then noticed I was not reacting in any way whatsoever.

"Am I supposed to scream now or something?" I asked with a yawn. The smile on Opal's face was starting to get an annoyed twitch to it. "Most people would if they knew what was good for them. I simply _adore_ the sound of screaming." When I still made no noise or movement, Opal eventually asked," Are you not surprised? You have just woken up in an unfamiliar place with no memory of what has happened to you. This can't happen very often to you, does it?"

"No, it doesn't happen very often to me." I said with a bored sigh. "It's just…. I always had a feeling I would get kidnapped _someday._ In fact, what I am surprised about is that it hasn't happened until now. I mean, I would have been _perfect_ to be kidnapped. You know, if some creepy weird guy in a van drove up in front of my house or something and said, "Hey kid, you want a bike?" I would have totally been like, "You've got a bike?" and went away with him. Or if there was a burglar in the neighborhood, I probably would have invited him inside and asked him his life story! So yeah, I kind of expected this to happen." What I had just said was both true and false. I always did have a feeling I would get kidnapped someday, but not for those reasons; it was just that I was kind of a magnet for trouble so it would make sense for this to happen sooner or later. Although I really was surprised that this was all happening now and was only pretending to be bored. I figured Opal would explain to me her scheme due to her being insulted at my non-reacting and would inadvertently tell me everything I need to know.

My hypothesis had the desired effect. "Well, you insolent girl, there is no need for your check. You should be _honored_ to be in the presence of one such as myself. I will teach you how to appreciate true genius, and then maybe you will change your tune. "Opal was on a roll now; this was going to be good. "You are Astoria Anderson, are you not." It wasn't a question. Opal paused for a moment, probably expecting me to ask how she knew my name, but I didn't. What I did next was totally unexpected. "No, I'm not." I figured it was best to feign innocence: If Opal didn't know who I was then I had an advantage over her. "That's not my name. My real name is… Hermione Granger. "It was the first name that had popped into my head and silently prayed that Opal had never read Harry Potter.

"Now, now. Do not play games with me Astoria. I know full well who you are. "Her tone sounded almost…. fond. Suddenly I felt very apprehensive and remained quiet.

"After all, what kind of mother would I be if I couldn't even recognize my own daughter?"

Oh. My. God. Did she just say what I thought she had just said? Opal Koboi was my mother! I could no longer fake my dull act and broke character. In the movies, when something like this happens, the characters always remain silent, but that was not what was happening to me; I was freaking out. "OMGZ!" I hollered out.

Opal stared at me, and asked, "What does OMGZ mean?" Even she could not help but ask that.

"Um… to be honest I don't really know. " I explained. "I know that OMG stands for "Oh my God!" But I have no idea what the "Z" stands for. I think it's just there to express surprise. Anyway, as I was saying, OH MY GOD!"

Opal seemed satisfied with my explanation and was evidently pleased I was showing some emotion and opened her mouth to go on, but I was still not done freaking out yet.

"THIS IS JUST LIKE DARTH VADER BEING LUKE'S FATHER!" Why was I reminiscing about fictional characters in a time like this?" DON'T CUT OFF MY HAND!" I added fearfully, remembering what had happened to them.

Opal stared at me. "Why would I cut off your hand? Who are those people anyway?"

"THEY'RE FROM A MOVIE SERIES CALLED STAR WARS, AND IS IT JUST ME OR IS WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US RIGHT NOW A COM PLETE PARODY OF IT?" Okay, so maybe that last part was exaggerated, but _still! _

"For heaven's sake, shut her up!" Opal snapped at two figures in the shadows. They emerged from the darkness and I recognized them as soon as I saw them; They were that set of pixie twins that had been interviewed on the fairy TV!

"Hey, I know you guys!" I squealed when I saw them. "You were on TV!"

"You watched that?" One of them- I couldn't tell if it was Mervall or Descant- asked eagerly. "How did we do?"

"You guys were fantastic!" I assured them.

"Do not get distracted!" Opal barked at the twins. "Obey me!" The next thing I knew they both pulled out some sort of fairy technology and shot me!

You wouldn't want to make a universe angry. That's what Opal was like when she was angry and _boy_ was she mad!

"_You imbeciles!"_ She screeched. "_Can't you do anything right? When I said, "Shut her up" I meant "Put her gag back on!" _Opal went over to me and Healed me. The brief but searing pain was gone now. I gasped for air.

"Dudes!" I exclaimed. "That was SO not cool! Not cool, man, NOT cool!"

Opal yelled at them some more and then dismissed them before starting again, where she would explain why and how she captured me…

**Please review!**


	25. Chapter 25 Only one Artemis

**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or alerted* hands out chocolate mousse* Sorry it took such a long time for me to update. I'll try to update again sooner next time.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 25: 1000 Miles (Artemis)

There was still no sign of Astoria. The local authorities searched the house from top to bottom, in and out, but they still couldn't find her. On Monday, much to my surprise, Mother let me stay home while they continued the investigations. _Those fools,_ I thought to myself,_ don't they realize that if they haven't found her in the house by now, than they should search elsewhere? _

Evidently they somehow reached the same conclusion for the following day the authorities decided to go to Saint Bart's and question the students and teachers of her disappearance. On that particular day I decided to attend school in case there were any clues to explain Astoria's absence.

The school was in an uproar; there had been some suspicions and rumors starting about Astoria's absence from school over the weekend and on Monday. However, regardless of how wild and far -fetched some of the rumors were and the mediocrity of my classmate's minds, even they realized deep down that Astoria was probably just ill. No one had actually _believed_ the rumors. Therefore it was something of a shock among the student body when the authorities arrived at school. Teachers and students were questioned about Astoria's disappearance, but nobody had any idea what had happened to her. Rumors were spreading like wildfire among the school now and they were even more wild and exciting than the ones before. There was an atmosphere of both excitement and fear in the air at school now; an atmosphere of suspense and mystery.

The worst part about these rumors that were spreading rapidly throughout the school was that as farfetched as they were every single one of them could be absolutely true. It was completely unknown what had happened to Astoria. Some students despite the circumstances, or maybe even _because_ of them, seemed to find the whole thing thrilling. Others seemed to perceive the situation a bit more realistically and sensibly, and seemed to understand the gravity of the situation as opposed to the students who only seemed to think this was a scene from some sort of action movie; aware of it happening but not fully grasping the concept of it.

The students who understood that this was serious and not something to be taken lightly were very concerned and worried about Astoria. Astoria had had friends from Saint Magenta's before meeting me, and many of the students from the school were very upset about the current situation at hand. They were frightened and felt a terrible sense of sadness for their friend and classmate. Some were angry and vowed revenge against anyone who may or may not have harmed Astoria. During this time I felt conflicted emotions about my classmates. I had always thought of them as mediocre bumbling imbeciles, although during this time I felt different about some of them. I loathed the complete morons who seemed to think the entire situation was like something out of a movie or a television program, and had to resist myself from the temptation to wring their necks then and there on the spot. Or do something so terrifying I _almost_ regretted thinking it; telling Butler to go have a word with them.

I was unable to proceed with this delightfully painful plan however being as the school would not allow Butler onto the grounds. Regardless of said idiots, I did feel differently about the students who grasped the complete gravity of the situation. I realized that they might not have been _as_ dumb as I had thought them to be. People were so distraught over Astoria that I even saw some of my classmates crying over it. I saw others angrily vow revenge against anyone who may have harmed Astoria. For example, one bald boy declared to his friend," Nobody better harm one hair on Astoria's wittle head! If they do, they will have to harm all the hair on my wittle head first!"

"You don't _have_ any hair on you wittle head." His friend reminded him.

Some of my classmates suddenly seemed to feel that it was necessary for them to follow me around everywhere I went due to the present circumstances, although in reality I just wanted to be left alone. It was maddening. When Astoria had disappeared I had felt an emotion I had not felt before in months; a feeling of complete and utter loneliness. I had not felt that way since the period of time when I had had my mind wiped but had not met Astoria yet. During that time, something in my life had seemed as if it was missing something but I did not know what. I knew what it was now; magic. Astoria had brought magic back into my life when it had been taken away from me. Part of it had to do with her having fairy powers but what it really had brought back to me was friendship; and not feeling alone. Knowing that someone understood me and accepted me for who I am. During that point in my life, though I did not realize it at the time, was the moment I needed a friend the most. I did not need to be nor cared whether I was popular or not: just one would have sufficed, because that "one" is not zero.

Astoria was that "one". Astoria accepted me and _liked_ me for who I was. And, regardless of whether I liked it or not, she would _never_ leave me alone. No matter how I treated her or what I said to her, she still kept trying to be my friend: which is more than anyone else had ever done. My classmates, before Astoria's disappearance had avoided me like the plague. Astoria sought what nobody else would seek; me. That was why…. that was exactly why I was going to get her back. Because even though I was often cold towards Astoria and acted indifferently I actually valued her friendship. I knew what I had to do.

I had to contact the Haven Police. They were still unaware I had regained my memories. On Wednesday afternoon I contacted them but did not get a response. I went to the dining hall for dinner, decided to skip because I had not felt like eating much since Astoria had left, and decided to take a walk. As I walked, I recalled memories I had of Astoria. The good times and the bad times. I reached the courtyard where we had first met and stopped. I remembered all of Astoria's mixed emotions and actions from that day; she had never got around to telling me why she had behaved that way. Then again, I had never told her the snow was fake. I wondered what other- if any- secrets we had been hiding from each other.

It was then that I noticed a flicker in the air for just a brief moment. That brief moment was all it took for me to realize there was a fairy shielding itself nearby.

"You can come out now," I informed them. "I am aware of your presence; there is no use in hiding. " A moment later Captain Holly Short appeared before me.

"Artemis Fowl," she said, pointing her neutrino blaster at me, "You have got some serious explaining to do. How did you get your memories back and why did you tell us? What are you up to?"

I then explained everything to Holly what had happened since my mind wipe. I was right at the part where I regained my memories due to the sight of Astoria's fairy powers when I stopped, unsure of whether to go on. I thought about the consequences of telling Holly about Astoria's powers. On the one hand, the knowledge of this might somehow put Astoria in even more trouble, but on the other hand, Holly Short knowing this might somehow be an advantage of finding her. However, hadn't I promised Astoria I would never tell anyone about her secret? If we were able to get her back and she found out about this, would she still want to be with me? In the end it all came down to how much I wanted Astoria back: I took the chance of telling Holly. And the risk of Astoria's friendship. I saw Holly's eyes widen as I told her about this valid piece of information.

I went on telling her everything that had happened up until this very moment. A long silence followed my little monologue before Holly spoke. "You really care about this girl don't you, Artemis." There was no need to answer; it was a statement rather than a question.

"I will help you Artemis, but keep in mind that when this is done the consequences may not turn out entirely the way you may want them to. Something might happen to cause you to lose your memories once again. Are you sure you are willing to take that chance?"

I did not even think before I answered that question. "I don't _care_ what happens Holly. All I care about is Astoria coming back safely. "

My answer seemed to surprise her, and then she said," In that case then, please show me the notes that were found in your house."

We retreated to my dorm room with Holly shielding herself all the way in case anyone saw us.

I showed Holly the notes wrote in the unidentifiable language, and Holly's eyes widened once again. "Good Gods," She breathed." Do you know what this means, Artemis? This language here is literally ancient and hasn't been used in _millenniums_. Someone has brought back the long lost language of Gnommish before it was revised to be the way that it is used today. Due to my gift of tongues, I can read this, but it will be very hard being as the original language hasn't been used in so long and- My Gods! - I think whoever wrote this has taken the old language and _revised _parts of it which means that… they've created another language!"

Holly read through it and wrote the translations for the notes on another sheet of paper.

As I read over the translations I felt my heart rate speed up and demanded several times that Holly recheck her translations to make sure what I had just read was correct.

If what I had just read was accurate, then I knew the location of Astoria: Inside Fowl Manor.

But that was impossible. The manor had been searched inside and out, but there was no sign of Astoria. How on Earth could she possibly be there? According to the letter, there was a secret passageway that would lead to where Astoria was hidden. The letter also explained what had happened to Astoria and I felt my face pale and my blood run cold as I read it. "Holly," I ordered." We are going to Fowl Manor straight away to investigate." Holly nodded and decided to call the rest of the Haven police to use as back up.

I called Butler to take me home from school at once, no questions, and not to inform my family of my visit. Butler was still unaware of the existence of fairies due to the mind wipe, so holly and the Haven police had to Shield themselves in order to sneak in. We had quite an adventure ahead of us and there was no time to waste…

**Please review!**


	26. Chapter 26 ConfessionsAstoria

**Sorry it's taken me this long for me to update! So, here's a brief recap from what's happening in the story: Last chapter Artemis has found out that Astoria is hidden in a secret passage inside the manor with the help of the Haven Police. The last time we left off in Astoria's POV, -the chapter before that-Opal was just about to explain her ingenious plan….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.**

Chapter 26: Confessions of love and schemes (Astoria)

I could not believe it. Opal Koboi was my mother. GASP! Did this mean my real name was Astoria Koboi, and NOT Astoria Anderson? Or would my last name be my father's last name? Who was my dad anyway? More importantly, how should I address my mother who kidnapped me? Should I call her Mother, Mom, Mommy, Mommy-kins…. the list went on and on. Or should I just call her Opal? Maybe I shouldn't acknowledge the fact that she was my mother by calling her those things: She did just kidnap me after all. Hopefully Opal/Mother/Mom/Mommy would answer my questions. Because I most certainly didn't have a clue as to how to answer any of them!

"Anyway, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted by _those_ nincompoops," O/M- I had started addressing Opal as O/M in my mind to avoid confusion about what to call her- went on, as she dismissed Merv and Scant, and would hopefully go on to explain the whole dang thing. "I was just going to explain our situation here. " _Yes! It's about dang time!"_ I thought to myself but did not say out loud so O/M could continue.

"For many years of my life, I have always known that someday I shall take over not only the fairy world, but the human world as well. To be able to achieve this goal, I knew I would need some sort of weapon that could understand both humans and fairies, therefore being able to know both their strengths and weaknesses. A weapon like this could not be merely a piece of technology; a weapon like this would have to be alive in order to truly understand human and fairy emotions and other physiological aspects of human fairies. A mere gun could not do that.

That's when I realized what my weapon must be: _you._ "

"Say what?" I was unable to compute this unexpected piece of information. Then; "GASP!" I, er, gasped. I. Was. A. _Weapon._ You learn something new every day.

O/M ignored my comments and went on," I mesmerized a human man into falling in love with and marrying me. Soon into our marriage I became pregnant with you, just as I planned. My plan was that if a fairy and a human had a child together, than surely you would inherit a mixture of both human and fairy traits. This way, I created the first human-fairy hybrid the world has ever known. By doing this, though your species is human, you inherited _very_ powerful and _unusual_ magic from me. Some of this magic is not even possessed by ordinary fairies. However, you are able to live among the humans and are therefore able to understand them better than normal fairies do. Just as I was hoping my weapon would be able to do and be; everything that I ever wanted. "

"However," O/M went on as she took a brief pause for me to let this all sink in. "You were not ready to be put to use. Not yet. You were only a baby. Your powers were not completely developed and you would not know how to use them. If the rest of fairy world found out about this they would keep a close eye on you and might even decide your future for you in a way that would not go according to plan. Therefore, I sent you into the human world to have human foster parents for the moment. But I always knew I would come back for you someday."

Opal- I had grown tired of O/M and decided to temporarily think of her as "Opal"- was about to go on but I interrupted her. A thought had just occurred to me.

"Who's my dad and what happened to him?" For some reason Opal did not look like she wanted to answer this question. "I will get to that another time." She snapped and went on," I was always watching over you in secret as you got older. I observed your powers grow and develop. When I saw you hack into the fairy network, I knew I did the right thing in having you. Not only did you inherit my powers, but you also inherited my I.Q. Not only do you have powerful magic over humans and fairies alike, you also have a higher I.Q. than most human and fairy people. Everything was happening as I had hoped it would. Then came the goblin rebellion."

Opal's fond reminiscing ceased to a halt and a look of vengefulness and spite replaced the smile on her face instead. "I had planned that once I had taken control of the fairies using Cudgeon and the goblins, then I would use you. I never particularly liked him at all, but he was useful at the time so I decided to use him instead, but only for _temporarily. _ As soon as I gained power, I would dispose of him. That's where you were supposed to come in. I would have control over the fairy world, but not the human world. After Cudgeon was taken care of, I would use you to take control of the humans. Then I would have truly achieved power over both worlds. The entire _universe _could be at my feet if I wanted it too. However my plans were foiled by a certain idiotic centaur, an interfering police officer, a pugnacious dwarf, and- to top it all off! A snot nosed arrogant _Mud Man_. "

I had a feeling I knew who she was talking about at the end and there was pure venom in her voice as she said all this. I sincerely hoped she hadn't found out about my friendship with Artemis being as that might make things a _little_ awkward between us. I had a feeling she might not take it too well if I came out and said," Hey, Mom! You know that snot nosed arrogant Mud Man you were talking about? The one who foiled your plan? Well guess what, we're best friends! Isn't that great?" But then again, that _could_ just be me.

Opal continued her monologue while I thought about all this and went on," I put myself into a cleansing coma for a little while to think about what my next move should be. I then managed to employ Merv and Scant to help me break out of the clinic I was staying at while I was in my coma. They snuck me out and left a clone in my place, and as far as I know the fairies that work there are none the wiser. I then came back to keep an eye on you and put my plan into practice. Do you remember why the St. Magenta's Girls' Academy was taken from their old school and are currently visiting St. Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen?"

I nodded. "Wasn't there a fire there over the summer or something? And NO, just to clear this up, I had absolutely NOTHING to do with it." For some reason at first some of my classmates seemed to believe I had something to do with it, jeez… Opal smiled, and I noticed an evil glint appear in her eyes as she did so. "Oh don't worry; I know you had nothing to do with that. You see, I was the one who caused the fire. The building burning down was not an accident. The authorities suspected this, but it was all hushed up."

"Anyway," Opal went on as if she had just made some comment about the weather instead of confessing to being an arsonist. "I did this because I found out where Artemis Fowl goes to school. I figured that it would be an advantage on my side to have my secret weapon is near my enemy without him realizing it. However, what I did not expect, nor did I want to happen be for you two to become friends. "I held my breath, waiting for Opal's displeasure to come, but to my great surprise and relief it didn't. " I will admit at first I was displeased, to say the least. But I soon realized this close contact could be to my advantage. If you were to grow close to Artemis Fowl, you would understand him better. Do you remember that one time in October when you two were snowed in?"

I smiled, fondly recollecting the memory. What Opal said next completely threw me off guard.

"Well, the snow was fake. I needed to keep you two away from school to proceed with my new plan. I had noticed what Artemis gave you for your birthday, and became curious. I snuck into your dorm and recognized the value of the money. I mesmerized some agents from the government and had planned that once they arrested you, instead of taking you to prison they would take you to me. Again my plan failed. So I came up with a new plan. Artemis had regained his memories of the fairy world, but Juliet and Domovoi Butler had not. I had used so many people at this point; I thought "Let's use them."

I felt my heart rate speed up, what had she done to Butler and Juliet? Opal answered my question. "You see, I had this theory about the mind wipe. I had a theory that it is not completely 100% foolproof. For example, Artemis regained his memories when he saw you use magic. Also, it has been proven that if someone who has been mind wiped has been put under the Mesmer, they can regain their memories. There are loopholes to the mind wipe and I intended to use them. One day when Juliet Butler went to her dressing room after a wrestling match, she found a photograph of herself, her brother, and the mud brat from a little over a year ago. Something seemed very out of place to her but she could not understand why or what it was. A few days later, she found a pair of glasses with mirrored- lenses on her dresser. She tried them on and suddenly, she saw several very blurred and very brief images flash before her eyes. Dim- witted as she is, even she at this point was starting to wonder what was going on. More and more objects from the past kept appearing before her and she kept seeing more and more images. The poor girl thought she was hallucinating. She was questioning her very sanity, but did not know if she should tell someone. The real trigger came when she found a couple of diary entries from when she was sixteen. That was the moment when the final piece of the puzzle fell into place. Slowly, but surely, she regained her memories and she remembered it all.

However, due to this all not happening at once, Juliet could not help but think there was something wrong with her. She was too scared to tell anyone what was happening to her. Eventually I appeared before her and put her under the Mesmer. I made sure I gained complete and total control over her when you came to the manor. I then ordered her to capture you while you were getting snacks. And here you are now."

I felt my jaw clench and my eyes saw red. Poor Juliet must have felt so helpless and terrified.

"Did you Mesmer her to being my friend?" I asked. Opal shook her head.

"She did that part on her own accord. The rest of the time she was under the Mesmer. Since you have left she has been in hysterics. She cannot help but feel responsible for your absence even though she herself is not aware what has happened." It was then and there that I lost it.

"WHY?" I screeched. "How can you do all of this? I can think of so many laws you have broke and so many people you have hurt. Are you really that ruthless? Feel some remorse, Opal. _Please._" Opal clearly did not respect my reaction to this.

"Ruthless?" She shrieked. "You think I am the one who is at fault here? Here you are, not wanting to thank me for doing all of this for you? GIVE ME A BREAK!"

"You didn't do this for me!" I shouted back. "You did this for yourself! And the reason I don't want to go along with this is this: I LOVE those people you have hurt! Artemis, Juliet, every last one of them!" Opal turned pale at this and said in a deathly calm voice." You. Love. Them." She repeated theses words with an indescribable look on her face.

"Yes," I said, trying very hard to stay calm. "I love Juliet like a sister. I love Artemis Fowl in ways you will never understand. I have loved him since the moment I met him."

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	27. Chapter 27 A worst case scenario Astoria

**Thanks to those who have reviewed, favorited, or alerted! Also, I know I've gotten into kind of a pattern with having Astoria narrate every other chapter and having Artemis narrate the next chapter, but for this chapter to work I had to have Astoria narrate. Next chapter though, will be in Artemis's POV!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. Or Pride and Predjudice.**

Chapter 27: A worst case scenario (Astoria)

"_I love Juliet like a sister. I love Artemis Fowl in ways you will never understand. I have loved him since the moment I met him." _ The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. Later I may regret saying some of what I was telling Opal, but at that moment I didn't care. I was on a roll now, and there was no turning back. Meanwhile, Opal was looking at me with a look of horror on her face that to an observer might have been comical, and to someone like me I normally would have been rolling on the floor laughing, but due to my anger I could not laugh nor smile at her expression. Opal appeared to have gone into shock, or was, at the very least, rendered speechless. However, even if she could speak I would not let her; I was not done talking.

"When I had first read about Artemis, I was appalled by him. I was disgusted that from what I had gathered about him that he was so selfish, greedy, arrogant…. the list goes on and on. Not that I'm a perfect person or anything- because obviously I make mistakes and have flaws just like anyone else- but I was turned off to the extent of his ruthlessness . However, at the same time I could not help but admire his genius. I also could not help being intrigued by him; he had been able to hack into the fairy networks, just like I did. I was determined to learn more about him. When I learned about his family situation, my contempt for him softened a little. I realized that he had problems just like anyone else. I could not help but feel some sympathy for him. My negative feelings towards him softened even more when I found out about him _helping_ the fairies.

"The more I learned about him, the more I understood and the more my dislike for him dissolved. I had mixed feelings about him, but one thing I know for certain; I found him absolutely fascinating. I was outraged when I discovered that he had been mind wiped, but I didn't know why. Imagine my surprise when I found out we would be attending school together. The moment I saw him that day was the day when all of the lingering prejudice I had about him vanished, as if it had never even existed. Because the moment I saw him…. he seemed so lonely and insecure of himself that one could not want to help but try to reach out to him. Then and there I realized that although he acted cold to others…. he was really just having problems facing himself. He felt alone since the mind wipe yet he didn't know why.

"He had been lonely and insecure of himself ever since his dad disappeared and his mom lost her sanity so…. he didn't really know what to do. He instantly assumed that all hope was gone, and he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was scared, but he did not have anyone to go to. He refused to show any signs of weakness. He tried so hard to be strong, but in doing so pushed people away from him. All of the feelings bottled up inside him made him do things he would regret. I guess I can be like that too." I added as an afterthought. Here was one thing Artemis and I had in common: Our emotions sometimes got the better of us. We _both_ thought irrationally sometimes, not just me.

"Anyway, it was at that moment I remembered all the good things he had done as well and suddenly believed that if his situation had been different, he would have been such an amazingly wonderful person. Then I realized that he _is _wonderful. Or at least in my mind he is. I know he has character flaws, but I still love him. I felt anger at the People who took his memories away. He deserved to keep his memories. I felt so many emotions at once, I was actually crying. When he first looked at me, I was scared. Then I remembered the trapped little boy I believed was inside him, the one beneath the mask, and smiled at him. I wanted to make him feel like he belonged. Wanted to show him a little kindness. I do admit though, that at times I am sure I was a complete pain, and incredibly annoying to him, but all this time I was only trying to help." This last part in particular was especially true.

"Maybe it's foolish that I like him. You can say that I am wrong about him if you want, but I won't care, even if I am. This is how I think and feel about him and I am not ashamed of it."

These were the last words of my sentiment and I looked Opal straight in the eye, awaiting her reaction. Opal only said four words. "I do not approve." Then she picked up a weapon of some sort and fired it at me. However, unlike when Merv and Scant shot at me earlier, there was no searing pain, only instant darkness. _So this is what dying feels like. _I thought, _I expected to see my life flash before my eyes instead of darkness, though._ Actually, I did not die. I realized this when I woke up later. Now, I don't _know_ what happens when you die, but I would be very surprised if you are to wake up back in the same dark, brick wall room, lying tied down to the same brown lab table, and still have all the same physical and emotional senses, functions, and feelings of a living person. Moreover, I do not expect one to find that their clothes had been changed as well.

When I had been talking to Opal earlier, I had been dressed in my pajamas being as that had been my attire when Opal- well, techniquely speaking, it had really been Juliet doing Opal's dirty work- but I was now dressed in an incredibly disturbing outfit. When I looked down at myself I was now wearing a dress with a hem that went several inches- maybe _feet_- past my toes. The dress was covered with bows, ribbons, lace, sequins, beads, and actual _jewels._ Don't ask me _how _they got on there; I have absolutely _no_ idea. The dress was covered with so many accessories I couldn't even tell what color it was beneath the mountain of excessive decorations. Suddenly I felt a terrible pain in my chest. Breathing was suddenly improbable. My body felt as if it had no stomach but not in that attractively thin way; more as in the- _I think my guts are going to come out!-_ sort of way. "What," I managed to wheeze out, gasping for air. "What the hell is this?" Ordinarily I'd be screaming, but it was so hard for me to breathe that I could only gasp for breath. "Who would do such a terrible thing? This hurts more than when Merv and Scant accidentally shot me with a D'arvit gun!"

"_Language _Astoria or I shall only make your corset tighter." It was Opal. I should have known.

"You are aware that it is a proven fact that corsets were a cause of death due to lack of the ability to breathe." I informed her, this being an actual fact. "Are you trying to kill me or something? Now, that is bad parenting Mom, _bad_ parenting!"

"If you do not stop talking Astoria, I will not explain." I quieted down at this, although it mostly it had to do with Opal threatening to tighten my corset. That is a threat that will scare _anyone._

"You are wearing a corset, along with a hoop skirt, bustle, camisole, chemise, stockings, 5-7 petticoats, and several other various kinds of underskirts. Oh yes, you are also wearing too small shoes with high heels. "

"I think I'm dying." I said seriously.

"I am doing this for your own good, Astoria." Opal said. "By wearing all of this, you will not be able to escape when Artemis Fowl comes to rescue you,- you will be unable to move- which should be any moment now. Also, perhaps this will teach you a lesson about fraternization with the enemy. Be thankful I did not kill you earlier; I only knocked you out. If I were to kill you things might get… problematic. "

_Stay calm, Astoria. _I tried to console myself. _I am sure Elizabeth Benet had things much worse..._ although of that I wasn't so sure. Then I heard footsteps…

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	28. Chapter 28 hero and heroine Artemis

**Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed, favorited, or alerted! Here's a brief recap from last time: Astoria is still being held captive by Opal, to whom she has just confessed her love for Artemis. Opal-who was displeased by this to put it likely- dressed Astoria up in a 19****th**** century outfit to prevent her from escaping and punish her at the same time when they suddenly heard footsteps… As promised, this chapter will be from Artemis's point of view! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl**

Chapter 28: Hero and Heroine (Artemis)

Heart pounding, I burst into the room where Astoria was being held captive. Opal Koboi and Astoria looked at me. I was about to make some witty comment to Opal to announce my entrance, but I was caught off guard. What caught me off guard was Astoria's… _unusual_ appearance. Astoria was dressed in a dress that had not an inch not covered in lace, ribbons, beads, or sparkles. The dress possessed a hem that trailed past her feet. Judging by how wide the dress was, Astoria must be wearing at least one hoop skirt along with it. This was stranger even then her Halloween costume.

"Artemis!" Astoria gasped upon seeing me. Then, upon my noticing her current attire, said," Don't ask. It is a _long_ story."

"I do not even want to know." I replied. This was a rare response coming from a genius like me, but if there was one thing from Astoria I had learned in all my time with her it was this: When it comes to Astoria, there are some things the world will never understand about her, and there are some things just better left unknown about her.

"Ahem," Opal interrupted us, making me remember why I had come. "Shall we get back to the matter at hand? Ah, Artemis Fowl… Long time no see, Mud Boy. Have you come to rescue my daughter?"

"Indeed, I have." I countered, unphased by the "daughter" remark. Opal and Astoria both looked at me in surprise.

"Are you not surprised to discover that an acquaintance of yours is a relation of mine?" Opal asked me, suspicion in her tone.

"I assure you that ordinarily I would be, however I knew this in advance. I have been listening to your monologue, Opal. I know _everything_."

"_You eavesdropped on me?" _Opal shrieked, outraged.

"Whoa, Artemis," Astoria smirked. "I never would have expected you to be a stalker… Then again," she mused," You _did_ try to break into my room that one time-"

"Astoria." I said through gritted teeth. "Do not make me have second doubts about saving you." Astoria instantly fell silent at this. "Now then," I began," Shall I explain my methods of finding you out, Opal?"

"Very well, Mud Boy," Opal could not resist curiosity, and would I knew- for now- let me explain. "You may proceed."

"Once I contacted the Haven and translated the notes, the rest was simply child's play. The notes revealed the location of where Astoria was being, inside the manor. The Haven and I found the secret passageway and listened to Opal's monologue outside the door. I discovered the rest of the plan that wasn't in the notes. After Astoria and Opal finished talking, the Haven and I listened to Opal's monologue outside the door. I discovered the rest of the plan that wasn't in the notes. After Astoria and Opal finished talking, then I made a plan to take action, which is where I find myself now. "

"Well it is too late now, Mud Boy." Opal had a look of extreme danger in her eyes. "Juliet, Merv, Scant, come here!" Opal barked. Two pixies and Juliet emerged from the shadows, all of whom were holding weapons. I saw Juliet's eyes and knew at once that she was under the Mesmer. I was not worried, however. "You may come out now." I shouted, and the next thing Opal knew she was surrounded as Haven police officer burst into different parts of the room, all with guns and other kinds of weaponry pointed straight at her and her accomplices. One would think Opal would have given up once she saw that there was absolutely no chance of her winning, but instead she ordered to her comrades," Fire at will!"

Shots rang out as Merv, Scant, and Juliet used their weapons. Almost immediately the Haven responded and many more blasts and bullets were fired. The room was, in a word, chaos. I realized what Opal was trying to do: She was trying to distract the police into fighting her minions while she could take Astoria with her and escape. "Somebody stop her!" I shouted over the havoc, pointing in Opal's direction. Opal was currently struggling in moving Astoria out of the room. "This is no way to treat a lady!" Astoria screamed over the noise rather shrilly. "Butler! Where is my butler? It is a butler's job to defend his lady when she is in danger! Butler!"

It was right at that moment that _my_ butler stepped into the room. I had instructed Butler to help me rescue Astoria, even though he had not regained his memories. Being my butler, he was obliged to follow my orders and did, although he hadn't a clue what was going on. I also mentioned that his sister was in danger too and that was all he needed to hear. I gave him a brief recollection of the fairy people, and it appeared he believed me, despite not yet regaining his lost memories. Butler ran across the room, dodging bullets, and grabbed Astoria away from Opal, taking her out of the room.

"Uh, I was just kidding about having a butler," Astoria called over his shoulder," But thanks! Wait, Artemis, aren't you coming? And what about Juliet?"

"Just go!" I yelled. "Butler can take Juliet with him too, but I'm staying here. I'll be fine."

"But-"

"Go!" I repeated and Butler, Juliet, - Butler had knocked the weapons out of her arms and threw her over his back- and Astoria were gone.

"NOOOOOOO!" Opal was in a terrifying anguish and outrage as she fell to her knees.

With her daughter and one of her minions gone, Opal was defeated. The Haven was able to arrest her and Merv and Scant.

However, all was not over yet as I emerged into my living room from the secret passageway. I needed to have a meeting with the Haven to decide if Astoria and I could keep our memories. There was also a matter I needed to talk about with Juliet. There was another- much more personal- one I needed to discuss with Astoria…..

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	29. Chapter 29 Next Time Artemis

**Thanks so much to those who have reviewed, alerted, or favorited so much, Happy Memorial day!* hands out memorial's day celebration* Also, next chapter's going to be the last chapter! So, I'd like to see if the story could have a total of 100 reviews after it's finished.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl**

Chapter 29: Next Time (Artemis)

When I returned to the manor I found Astoria sleeping on the couch; all the activity recently must have tired her. Butler informed me that he had put the Mesmerized Juliet in her bedroom until the Mesmer would wear off. Now, this meant I had one terrifying task left to do: I had to call Astoria's parents and tell them she was all right, albeit the 19th century torture devices she was wearing. The reason for my worry was that I strongly suspected her parents would not be particularly happy about the fact that their foster daughter had gone missing but had been found on what was technically my property. I comforted myself by the fact that I had Butler as a bodyguard and therefore they would not be able to leave any physical injury on me.

Fortunately when I phoned Astoria's parents I received an answering machine recording; Astoria's parents must be at work. This would give me time to prepare before they came. My parents were both currently out of town so I would have even more time to find a way to explain this to them. I then set out to complete the next task I must do. I walked up stairs and down a corridor until I reached Juliet's room. I knocked on the door and was greeted with a drained," Come in." in response. I opened the door and stepped inside, shutting the door behind me.

"Artemis?" Juliet asked in surprise. Facing me, her face appeared to have all the color drained from it and her eyes had lost some of their brightness. Her hair had lost some of its shine and dark circles had formed beneath her eyes. These were all possible effects of being put under the Mesmer so many times, but there was more to it than that. Juliet had once been a happy, carefree teenager but she was now a nervous wreck. She jumped slightly as I entered the room. These were not side effects of the Mesmer; these were effects from stress, insecurity, and sheer terror.

"I need to talk to you Juliet." I said calmly and sat down on the bed she was sitting on. As she looked at me I silently lamented on how I could not have realized what had been happening sooner. Juliet looked both hyper and exhausted at the same time. Of course, since I had come back to the manner I had noticed the symptoms; I had merely not cared to take the time to find the cause for them.

"Juliet, can you tell me what has happened to you within the past hour?" Eyes flashing with terror and hesitation, Juliet lied quickly and unconvincingly said," I have been in my room for the past hour."

"No," I stated coolly," You have not. You do not remember where you were in the past hour, do you. In fact, you cannot remember recent events that have took place over the time span of several weeks. "

"Artemis, I-"She was at a loss for words.

"And I know why," I went on and traces of horror spread across Juliet's face. "And it is not your fault." Juliet looked up at me in surprise, and then said, "Artemis, I…. I think I'm going mad."

"No," I said firmly, "You are not. I _know_ this for a fact. Just like I know everything that has been happening to you. You have been seeing flashbacks that you don't remember ever happening and believe in a world you never knew. You think you are deluding yourself into false fantasies but all of those memories are absolutely true. You are not going mad, you are simply remembering everything that happened before the mind wipe."

"So you mean-"Juliet began.

"Yes." I answered her. We sat there in silence for a moment when Juliet spoke up.

"Artemis, sometimes I see a pair of glowing red eyes and I… I feel like I'm the one responsible for Astoria's disappearance." And with that being said she started to cry. I was unsure of what to do, Juliet had been very emotional in the past but was never weepy; Opal must have really gotten to her. There was only one thing to do: I explained everything that had happened to her while she was under the Mesmer. When I finished talking, we sat there in silence again before I decided to get up and leave. When I was on my way out I heard Juliet say very softly," Artemis…. Thank you." Although I could not see her face, I could see teardrops rolling off it. However, unlike all of her recent tears, these were tears of joy, not tears of fear and sorrow.

When I came downstairs I saw Commander Vinyaya waiting for me. "Listen, Mud Boy," she ordered. "We need to talk." I had a sneaking suspicion I knew what about: It was still undecided whether or not I would be able to keep my new memories since the mind wipe and I would need to meet with Haven officials for them to make their decision. This would defect Astoria too: My performance may determine whether or not _she_ could keep her memories or not. Before I left I went over to where Astoria lay sleeping on the couch. "Astoria," I whispered to her, not wanting her to wake up but wanting her to subconsciously remember what I was going to say to her. "Depending on the council's decision, we may not be able to see each other anymore. But regardless of their decision, I want you to know this: I love you." And with that being said I left. I knew that whatever happened, for better or worse next time will be different.

I on my way over to Haven that if the council did not let us keep our memories that I would not fight them, unlike last time. If they erased Astoria's memories and mine of Astoria, it might be for the better. When I had told Opal I had heard everything, I had meant _everything_, including Astoria's confession of love to me. At first I had felt euphoric, but afterwards the euphoria turned into despair. Astoria, although biologically human, was part fairy folk never less. What would the fairy folk think of Astoria being involved with someone like me? I had been both an ally and an enemy to them and some had not yet forgiven nor forgotten my previous actions towards them. Although Opal was now imprison, it was likely people would take advantage of this interaction by trying to use me to get to her. In other words, my being involved with Astoria- be it romantically or friendship - would only be placing her in danger; I should have realized that from the beginning.

"Artemis Fowl," Ark Sool glared down at me," tell the council one good reason why we should not erase you memories." I took a deep breath before speaking. Everything depended on this. I began to speak.

"While I understand that some of my past actions may not have been particularly helpful to the fairy people-("Yes, because trying to use and exploit our race was _very_ helpful." An elderly council member mumbled and many people nodded and sniggered in agreement) I tugged on the cuffs of my suit; perhaps reminding the People of some of my more criminal actions towards them wasn't such a good idea. _You have such _wonderful_ people skills, Artemis; _I thought to myself,_ you really do. Sarcasm intended._

"As I was saying," I went on. "I regret my past actions but let us not forget actions of mine that have helped the People, such as stopping Opal's Koboi's goblin rebellion, for instance." There was some musing and muttering as I said this. "In fact, most recently I have secured Astoria Anderson's safety and rescued her from the clutches of Opal Koboi. In the past, I have also-"

"Isn't it true that Astoria Anderson is really Opal Koboi's long lost daughter?" Someone spoke up. "Why should we protect her? What if she's like her mother?" There were gasps and worried whispers at this. I felt my blood begin to boil. I did not have a problem with people gossiping about me, but I did not want people- human or fairy alike- to talk badly about Astoria.

"Astoria Anderson is indeed the daughter of Opal, "I said so loudly that all chatter stopped." However, she is _nothing_ at all like her mother. Astoria cannot help who her parentage is. And you, the People, and Astoria are all safer now that she's back home than if she were still with Opal. I have grown close to Astoria over the past months and know for a fact that she would never purposely harm the People. If you wish to mind wipe Astoria for her safety than do so, but if it is merely for your own sinister or selfish reasons than you shall all face my rath. No matter how much I have changed, if any harm befalls Astoria, than I will have no choice but to return to my old ways." A shocked silence followed my sentiments; one could have literally heard a pin drop. Actually, a pin_ did_ drop from a council member's hair, making a loud, reverberating sound that spread across the chamber. They hurriedly picked it up and placed it back in their hair.

"Artemis Fowl," Commander Vinyaya said after a while." You may wait outside while the Council makes its final verdict." I got up and left, suspense filling my very bones…

**Remember guys, I'd like there to be six more reviews when the story's finished! Also, I may make a sequel, which may or may not be called Next Time!**


	30. Chapter 30 New Beginnings Astoria

**THE LAST CHAPTER! Can you believe it? I've thought about it and I WILL be writing a sequel to it, and it WILL be called Next Time. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, alerted or read this far!* hands out ending celebration* you guys are the best!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. Or Finding Nemo.**

Chapter 30: Endings and New beginnings (Astoria)

I opened my eyes to see my parents standing over me. "Mom, Dad," I cried and ran intotheir arms. We embraced for a very long time, never letting go until the last possible second. I didn't know how long we hugged, it may have been for only milliseconds or it could have gone on for millennia. Eventually we broke apart and I began to speak. Well, actually, they were the ones talking. First we all had to get the crying, the"OMG, I missed you so much!" the "What the heck happened to you?", and all the other freaking out out of our systems. Several hours later, _then_ I was able to speak.

I told them everything that had happened up to this very moment. "… and then you guys were all like, "OMG", and I was all OMGZ, and I told you about Opal, and you guys were all , "Oh no she _didn't_ !" and I was like , "Oh yes she _did!_" and here we are now ." I finished suddenly having to take deep breaths from talking nonstop for hours; at first I was speaking too fast, so I would have to go back to start and speak slowly. I had also had to find other means of expression to explain this, to make sure Mom and Dad _really_ got my message. One example of this involves the use of sock puppets to portray what was happening, but that was short live d, however, on the account that 1. My sock puppets looked absolutely nothing like humans or fairies to the point that even I was confused about who were whom, and 2. My foster family and I are all afraid of sock puppets and we all screamed when we saw them.

I stared at my parents and thought about Opal: she was my birth mother yet I was much closer to my foster parents. Would it still be okay for me to call them Mom and Dad? They may not have been geniuses, but their hearts were in the right place and they understood and cared about me a lot more than Opal. "I love you guys," I said quietly, tears forming in my eyes now. "Mom, Dad." We hugged once more, tears streaming down my face. Our moment had, like before, seemed to last an eternity and end so quickly it was almost as if it had never happened. Almost.

The reason our moment was because Juliet Butler entered the room. "Astoria!" Juliet squealed, just like she on my first day at the manor, an event that had took place under a week ago but now seemed a lifetime away. "Juliet!" I squealed back and we embraced. We went through the same phases of freaking out as I had with my parents, but when it was time for me to explain what had happened and I finished, Juliet broke down and cried.

"I'm s- so s-sorry!" She sobbed." I didn't kn-know sh-she had been controlling –hic- me!" Juliet wailed, but before she could continue I stopped her.

"It's all right," I whispered, hugging her." I know."

Once Juliet's sobs had subsided, a thought occurred to me. "Where's Artemis?" I asked and at that moment Butler entered the room.

"Yo, Big B!" I shouted and ran up to high- five him. Unlike my reuniting with everyone else, there were no tears or freaking out with Butler, and I didn't need to explain everything; he already knew.

"Artemis told me to give you this letter," Butler said as he reached into his pocket to hand me a note. "He wanted you to read it for yourself since you were unconscious when he left."

I opened it, and in Artemis's elegant script it read as follows:

Dear Astoria,

You are probably unaware of this, but now that The People have found out about my association with you and my regaining my memories from the mind wipe, I am to attend a council meeting where they will determine whether or not we can keep our memories.

Artemis Fowl II

"HE TELLS ME THIS IN A LETTER!"I exclaimed angrily."OH GENIUS BOY, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT WE CAN KEEP OUR MEMORIES, OR HOW MUCH I MAY LOVE YOU, YOU ARE SO DEAD FOR NOT TELLING ME THIS IN ADVANCE AND TO MY FACE!"

After I had calmed down 6 hours later, I regained my composure and thought of a much more urgent problem at hand.

"Can't- breathe," I chocked. "Suffocating- please- help!" I was still wearing the torture device known as 19th century style clothing to the extreme, and had been for the last God knows how many hours or even possibly days at this point.

Juliet rushed over to me and we went into another room where she helped me out of those dangerous shoes and clothes; the outfit was so complicated I actually needed a _spotter_ to help me get it off. After we had unhooked, untied, unbuttoned, unsnapped, unfastened, unlooped, unzipped, and un- just about any verb you can think of that ends in -ed- my dress, underskirts and chemise an hour later, Juliet let me borrow some of her clothes to wear. They were a bit big on me, but they fit okay. Actually, if she had given me a chicken costume to wear, I would have happily worn it; anything would be comfortable compared to those torture devices Opal had made me wear.

"Hey, Mom, Dad," I asked my foster parents. "Can I burn these?" I pointed to the large piles of clothes I had just taken off.

"No!" They said," We can lend them to an acting company instead to use as costumes."

"Okay," I agreed. "But I still think we should burn the corset; it would only cause harm for the actresses wearing it."

They saw the sense in that and gave me permission to do so. I went over to the fire place and, using my fairy powers, snapped my fingers to create a fire. Nothing happened. I then uttered the ancient Girl Scout prayer that is always used when creating a fire: "Burn, blast you!"

That worked.

I then stood up from the ashes, grabbed the corset and hung it over the fire. "Die, you accursed fiend." I hissed at it, remembering all the trouble it had brought me." MAY THIS BE THE LAST OF YOU, YOU DAM-"

"Astoria, if you are engaging in some sort of feminist rights practice, could you kindly not do it in my mansion?" I'd recognize that voice anywhere; it was Artemis.

"Arty!" I squealed, running forward and hugging him. A million questions came out of my mouth at once. "Will we get to keep our memories? Or will I be the only one to keep my memories? GASP! Or will I be the one to lose them? What the heck is going on?"

"Astoria, I have good news," Artemis said smiling. "We shall both keep our memories."

Tears flooded my eyes for the umpteenth time that day at this joyous news; it was a miracle.

Then a thought occurred to me.

"Stay here." I told Artemis and ran up the stairs to my room. Earlier before I was kidnapped I had bought Artemis a Christmas present. _Actually, depending on how long I've been gone; Christmas might be just a few days away! I hope Arty likes my present_. I thought to myself as I grabbed the box my gift for Artemis was in and hurried downstairs. "Open it!" I urged Artemis, fingers crossed in anticipation at what he might think of the gift. Artemis opened the box and out came a-

"A stuffed monkey." Artemis stated, unable to say anything else about my gift. For once the genius was at a loss for words.

"What's wrong?" I teased. "Artemis Fowl with nothing to say?" When Artemis still didn't say anything, I asked worriedly, "What's wrong? Do you not like it? Well, if you don't like it, you can give it back to me. Then I shall call it squishy and he shall be mine!" I laughed maniacally at the end of this. I actually now _hoped_ he didn't want it. Artemis, although thoroughly disturbed by that last bit replied," No… it's not that I don't like it, I am merely… surprised. I shall keep it though. Thank you."

Then Artemis said something that made my jaw drop. "I love you, Astoria." I fainted.

When I was revived I awoke to find Artemis standing over me. I remembered what he had just said and nearly fainted again before Artemis stopped me."Oh no you don't" he hissed when I was about to fall and helped me up. Artemis had confessed his love to me; I couldn't believe it.

Artemis looked as though he were waiting for a response of some sort. I looked up and noticed mistletoe above us that I could have sworn had not been there before. I saw Butler wink at us from the doorway and knew what I had to do. I leaned in forward and kissed Artemis.

Sparks flew, fireworks- no, NUCLEAR BOMBS- exploded as our lips met. I could have spent the rest of my life like this. I pulled away and whispered, "Thanks, I love you too… Genius Boy."

**Aaaaannnnddd that's the end!*laughs and cries* I'm not entirely sure when Next Time is coming out, but I predict maybe around early July. Also when Astoria says "…I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine!"that's a quote from Finding Nemo. Until next time, please review!**


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